So Freaking Numb | Teen Ink

So Freaking Numb

February 29, 2012
By loveissmiles GOLD, Lynn, Indiana
loveissmiles GOLD, Lynn, Indiana
13 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I live for the nights I can&#039;t remember with the people I will never forget.&quot; -Carassisa M-&lt;3<br /> <br /> &quot;What the mind can perceive, the body can achieve.&quot; -Softball Coach Steve B-


Hold on tight,
Through the night,
The pain will soon subside.
As you slip down deeper,
The tears cannot be cried.
The pain will never disappear,
But we can all pretend.
That the lies are the truth,
And that you are my friend.
You’re not as nice as I used to think,
You're not who I though.

But as they say life goes on.

So as I sit here slipping,
In and out,
Of a drug induced fantasy,
I get to a point where nothing helps,
And I can only see your face,
And I can only remember the pain.
And I can only wish for this to end.

I wake up,
Heartbeat in my head.
Rush to the bathroom,
And rid myself of everything,
Somehow left emptier than before.
Just another night of illegal actions,
Maybe next time I’ll be dead.
The Vodka seems to numb the pain,
But only for awhile.
It can only do so much,
To heal this broken smile.
People say they wish they were me,
But if they only knew,
That there isn’t much I wouldn’t give,
To start over anew.

No more judgment,
No more pain,
No more of this stupid game,
Where you say everything will be okay.
Just to have those words haunt me,
In a bitter sweet revelation.
Knowing that you won’t come back to me,
But that you will always seem in reach.
You taunt me with your presence,
And tease me with your touch.
But then you turn around and leave,
Always in a rush.
What you do isn’t right,
But I can’t tell you no.
Instead I muffle out the sound,
Of you with Vodka and Patron.
I have been caught a couple times,
BAC flying off the charts.
Lucky to be alive is what they tell me,
But I’m not sure I agree.
Sometimes I would rather be gone,
And free of these wrought iron shackles,
But I know that I am too weak,
To do anything to get out of here.

They say life goes on.
What doesn’t kill you make’s you stronger.
I speak from experience.
Stronger? That’s a joke.
What doesn’t kill you makes you numb.
Pushes you to the point where you don’t
Remember the last time you smiled,
Laughed, cried,
Actually felt something real.
Numb is all you can remember.



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This article has 11 comments.


Love,A GOLD said...
on May. 9 2012 at 7:45 am
Love,A GOLD, Lynn, Indiana
12 articles 1 photo 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;You&#039;ve gotta dance like there&#039;s nobody watching,<br /> Love like you&#039;ll never be hurt,<br /> Sing like there&#039;s nobody listening,<br /> And live like it&#039;s heaven on earth.&rdquo; <br /> ― William W. Purkey &hearts;

This is the one I found in Spanish, and loved. Keep up the great poetry!! (:

on Apr. 13 2012 at 9:11 am
SuNshiNe007 ELITE, Magee Ms., Mississippi
120 articles 0 photos 306 comments

Favorite Quote:
Never Give Up, And Know That God Will Always Love You!

Wow, this is so beatiful!! I love it! You did an amazing job! 5 stars from me!!:D

on Apr. 12 2012 at 7:18 am
loveissmiles GOLD, Lynn, Indiana
13 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I live for the nights I can&#039;t remember with the people I will never forget.&quot; -Carassisa M-&lt;3<br /> <br /> &quot;What the mind can perceive, the body can achieve.&quot; -Softball Coach Steve B-

Thank you.

on Apr. 11 2012 at 4:08 pm
HoldingFast GOLD, Plano, Texas
11 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If I wasn&#039;t meant to fly, I wouldn&#039;t have these wings&quot;

Beautiful. I have no other words for it.

on Apr. 10 2012 at 7:25 am
loveissmiles GOLD, Lynn, Indiana
13 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I live for the nights I can&#039;t remember with the people I will never forget.&quot; -Carassisa M-&lt;3<br /> <br /> &quot;What the mind can perceive, the body can achieve.&quot; -Softball Coach Steve B-

thank you!! :)

on Apr. 9 2012 at 4:26 pm
AlaskaFrost GOLD, Acushnet, Massachusetts
17 articles 7 photos 131 comments
Wow this is an amazing poem! The last few lines are haunting. It's true what you say about that common phrase - "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I've never completely agreed with it; I always thought, like you, that it makes you numb. And I think you captured that perfectly in this poem. It feels personal and again, there's that raw emotion. Anyway, I really enjoyed reading this, and I hope it gets published!

Kinzi GOLD said...
on Mar. 13 2012 at 8:56 am
Kinzi GOLD, Cairo, Other
11 articles 0 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;There is some good in this world, and it&#039;s worth fighting for.&rdquo; -J.R.R. Tolkien<br /> <br /> &ldquo;I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.&rdquo; -Mother Teresa

{=D Awesome to see this officially published now! 

on Mar. 13 2012 at 7:06 am
loveissmiles GOLD, Lynn, Indiana
13 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I live for the nights I can&#039;t remember with the people I will never forget.&quot; -Carassisa M-&lt;3<br /> <br /> &quot;What the mind can perceive, the body can achieve.&quot; -Softball Coach Steve B-

thank you!

on Mar. 12 2012 at 3:04 pm
maizyiscrazy GOLD, Washington, District Of Columbia
10 articles 53 photos 261 comments

Favorite Quote:
I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe in miracles. ~Audrey Hepburn

(By insane I mean AMAZING!!)

on Mar. 12 2012 at 3:03 pm
maizyiscrazy GOLD, Washington, District Of Columbia
10 articles 53 photos 261 comments

Favorite Quote:
I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe in miracles. ~Audrey Hepburn

Oh, I forgot. I also like the picture; the mask really ties into the whole poem, and some of your lines really made me stop. The rhyhmes were insane, but they completely worked.

on Mar. 12 2012 at 3:02 pm
maizyiscrazy GOLD, Washington, District Of Columbia
10 articles 53 photos 261 comments

Favorite Quote:
I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe in miracles. ~Audrey Hepburn

Awful, but beautiful. A hard and honest look at what this person is feeling. Keep writing.

<3