Zombie Poem | Teen Ink

Zombie Poem

July 7, 2012
By BorderlineGenius777 SILVER, Lewiston, Idaho
BorderlineGenius777 SILVER, Lewiston, Idaho
7 articles 0 photos 80 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If all our misfortunes were laid in one common heap, whence everyone must take an equal portion, most would be content to take their own and depart."- Socrates


I watch the building burn through eyes that have seen so much pain these past four years.
I feel the heat of the flames lick my face with their rough tongue,
see the tendrils of smoke twirl into the black stain that is now our sky, another victim of the plague.
Above, in the top floors, I see the monsters in the windows.
They are not screaming, not crying for help.
They just stand there, quietly waiting for the flames to consume them.

They seem to be looking at me, but I know better.
They can’t see anymore. Not truly, anyway.
They can only smell, and hunt, and feast.
And die.

I can sense more of them around me, staggering, stumbling.
They are drawn to the bright flames that I have created.
I should leave before they get to close,
Before they notice me.
But, I cannot.

I feel no will to move.
I only want to stand here and watch this building of monsters burn.
It is horrific, but beautiful in its own way.
A purging of evil, I suppose.
I decide that I am done fighting for a lost cause.

Unholstering my pistol, I place the barrel to my temple.
The metal is cool relief to my head.
After only a moment’s hesitation, I curl my finger around the trigger.
It’s over in a moment.
Pull. BOOM!
As I fall, I can see the dark masses of the monsters around me.
They moan as they prepare to feast.

I smile in my victory.
They cannot hurt me now.
As darkness takes my vision, I ask a question that I’ve asked a thousand times since the beginning.
Is there a God?
I still don’t have an answer, even now.
But, I guess I will find out in a moment or two.


The author's comments:
Okay, I threw this together in like ten minutes. No rewrites or anything. I just liked it how it was. pleas enjoy.

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This article has 10 comments.


on May. 31 2013 at 12:00 am
RoyalCorona SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 290 comments

Favorite Quote:
All of us fave failed to match our dream of perfection. I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. -William Faulkner

This was really good! It was extremely magnificent, the details were so vibrant and fluid!! Nice job!

on May. 30 2013 at 11:53 pm
BookNerd35 GOLD, Herod, Illinois
10 articles 1 photo 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
There are so many people out there who will tell you that you can't. What you've got to do is turn around and say, 'watch me.' -unknown

Really good! I liked it!!

on May. 10 2013 at 6:13 pm
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 860 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby." - Unknown

WOW!!!!! Intense. The first paragraph reminded me of 9/11 when all of the people just stayed in the burning buildings.. Then, I loved the twist you put on this poem. So interesting & unique. Love it.

on Apr. 15 2013 at 6:17 pm
readaholic PLATINUM, Tomahawk, Wisconsin
27 articles 0 photos 425 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'd rather fail because I fell on my own face than fall because someone tripped me up
~Jhonen Vasquez

Yeah, awesome poem.  Very awesome story, but it has the flow and rythmn of a poem, which is an awesome combination.  Really, great poem!  Throw stuff together more often!

on Sep. 1 2012 at 5:00 pm
Stormy9890 BRONZE, Knoxville, Tennessee
2 articles 0 photos 23 comments
Haha! Your characters are always so interesting and control freaks, I guess. I love your imagery in this too- 'see the tendrils of smoke twirl into the black stain that is now our sky' was my favorite line. Your ending is not as predictable either, which I love! The first line is a bit too descriptive for me, though. In my mind it's best if you start with a simple sentence. If just left it at 'I watch the building burn.' I'd be even more in love with it than I already am!

on Jul. 21 2012 at 12:17 pm
albinotiger GOLD, Gloucester, Massachusetts
13 articles 0 photos 186 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win"- Stephen King
“In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate”- Isaac Asimov

HAHA I love zombie writing! u did a really good job and i love how the character ended things on his/her terms! powerful! (maybe check out my stuff sometime)

on Jul. 21 2012 at 12:17 pm
albinotiger GOLD, Gloucester, Massachusetts
13 articles 0 photos 186 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win"- Stephen King
“In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate”- Isaac Asimov

HAHA I love zombie writing! u did a really good job and i love how the character ended things on his/her terms! powerful! (maybe check out my stuff sometime)

KateLA GOLD said...
on Jul. 18 2012 at 9:22 pm
KateLA GOLD, Everett, Washington
11 articles 20 photos 194 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don’t you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
-Unknown

I like how you did a different theme for a poem than the usual, it just really sounds more like a short story rather than a poem-but I love the idea :-)

on Jul. 18 2012 at 5:10 pm
augustsun02 SILVER, Hamburg, New Jersey
9 articles 0 photos 76 comments

Favorite Quote:
Write. It doesn't matter if you're overjoyed, furious, miserable, or what. Write to keep those emotions in check while managing to grow stronger.

Very nice and creative. Good job :) Very nice imagery. I loved it :)

on Jul. 18 2012 at 10:46 am
Devalara PLATINUM, Landenberg, Pennsylvania
21 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Would you kindly?" ~ Bioshock

OOOooo nice imagery ;) "Flames lick my face..." "Black stain that is now our sky..." "tendrils of smoke..." Those are good

 

Nice punchy ending there, too ;)

 

Quick critique: It would be "Before they get TOO close". You forgot the extra O.