If Only You Would Ask | Teen Ink

If Only You Would Ask

November 28, 2012
By Emily Zody BRONZE, Summerfiend, North Carolina
Emily Zody BRONZE, Summerfiend, North Carolina
3 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Please,
Don’t tell me I’m alone.
I know.
It’s all come crashing down
And I know I’ve lost.
Too much.
It’s always been too much.
It’s always been too much,
And yet I said it wasn’t enough.
It was never enough.
No, it was, I promise,
But I never saw it.
It was too blinding,
It was too much.
I’m left here alone,
With nowhere to go.

Love,
It’s a four letter lie.
I’m not the first to say it,
And I’ll never be the last.
Love,
It’s a four letter word.
But so is pain,
And I know why.
I love you,
I’ve said it before.
It doesn’t surprise me,
That you didn’t hear.
Or maybe you just didn’t listen,
I’ll never know.

What does it matter?
It won’t change a thing.
It won’t take it back,
And I know what tomorrow will bring.
It doesn’t matter;
The tears still come,
This heart is still broken.
The pieces are in your hands.
Please,
Don’t give them back.
Who knows what I’ll do with them next?
Hold my heart,
It’s beating for you anyway.
All it ever gave me
Was more failure and pain.

It’s disappointing,
How low I’ve fallen.
I used to be strong,
I used to stand tall.
But what of me now?
I’m nothing special.
What am I now,
But blistering pain,
An overbearing hurt?
Nobody sees it,
But I do.
I see it wherever I go.
I see the agony in the mirror,
Nothing worth a thing called love.
I found a beautiful thing,
Picked it up,
Snapped it in half,
And threw it in the trash.

You’re wrong to say
I deserve to smile.
That’s not the truth,
I know my worth.
You don’t know this girl,
The one behind the laugh.
You don’t know what it costs her,
To pretend everything is fine,
To pretend that she’s okay,
To pretend that she doesn’t need you.
Doesn’t need anybody.
You don’t know anything,
What she would do for you,
How much she cried for you,
How much she loved you.
That’s not the girl you see.
The one that you see,
She isn’t me.

Please,
I just can’t take it anymore.
You’ll never see what you did to me.
Someone like you. . . .
I don’t deserve you.
I know why it never worked--
It’s because we were in different leagues,
Yours too high for me to reach.
I tried so hard,
Tried to make you happy,
Tried to make things better,
But now I’m stuck at the bottom,
And there’s no clawing my way back up.
You,
You broke my heart into a million pieces.
But I would walk straight through hell and back,
Right through the hottest flames,
If only you would ask.


The author's comments:
A tortured love poem.

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