the stars go out one by one | Teen Ink

the stars go out one by one

May 24, 2013
By Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou


the moon bathed our skin
with a liquid silver light
as the sliver stars
flickered like the fading
light of the street-lamps
around us
i begged you stay
my cracked lips quivering
silver tears staining my silver cheeks
but you resisted
your silver eyes
denying me of you
your closed lips taut
affirming your rejecting me
the distance between us
is greater than the light years
spreading from eon to eon
separating the silver stars from the silver moon
and you walk past
the flickering street-lamps
fading away from me
like the silver moon
ebbs crescent by crescent
the silver stars
burning out
one by one


The author's comments:
This poem is inspired by three groups of people, although the third is one person technically: the Imagist, the Beat Generation, and MyApocalytic—whose work never ceases to inspire me.

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This article has 30 comments.


on Aug. 3 2013 at 1:32 pm
ChrisJ PLATINUM, Rochester, New York
24 articles 15 photos 289 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.”
- Martin Luther King Jr.

As you make mine, Mckay.

Mckay ELITE said...
on Aug. 1 2013 at 5:57 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

You're truly flattering me. Which I don't mind whatsoever. Thank you. You're really making my day. Screw it! My year! 

on Jul. 31 2013 at 4:28 pm
ChrisJ PLATINUM, Rochester, New York
24 articles 15 photos 289 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.”
- Martin Luther King Jr.

I never thought of stars in such a dark and lurid way before. I like how you take something beautiful to the eye and make it seem gloomy and obscure from a different angle of perception in your free verse poems. Another wonderful piece, from another wonderful writer.

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jul. 8 2013 at 5:15 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

Thanks. That means a lot to me. Not that your heart borke. But that you enjoyed reading it. Always means the world to me. And thank you for sharing your work with me. Anytime. 

on Jul. 8 2013 at 5:13 pm
DarknessHasFallen GOLD, Broomfield, Colorado
12 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'm fine. I just feel like I'm shattered into hundred of little shards of glass and I'm going to hurt everybody who loves me.

My heart broke just reading this poem beautiful but also heart wrenching.thank you for sharing this with me.

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jul. 8 2013 at 5:09 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

Awe, don't feel that way. But thanks, Kris. Long time no see. 

Kris_10 GOLD said...
on Jul. 7 2013 at 3:42 pm
Kris_10 GOLD, North Scituate, Rhode Island
10 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles... The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood..." -Theodore Roosevelt

I really like your connection back to silver several times. it felt like i was actually there, being rejected.

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jun. 24 2013 at 6:15 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

Best wishes for you too. Sorry to hear about the weather. The weather here too can be disagreeable. The humidity. 

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jun. 24 2013 at 6:14 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

Thanks!! 

on Jun. 21 2013 at 9:45 pm
ramfthomas4 PLATINUM, South Bend, Indiana
26 articles 1 photo 98 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If the present world go astray, the cause is in you, in you it is to be sought.”
― Dante Alighieri, The Divine Comedy

it's like actually being rejected by someone. i mean, you can feel the pain. that's a good thing!

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jun. 20 2013 at 5:49 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

Hey, Liv. It's been a while, I must admit. I miss your feedback as well. I've been awfully side-tracked with so much madness. And yes, she did inspire this piece as she has with a few others. Thanks so much for the feedback. I did try to paste a link here of a poem I wrote. But it says Anonymous. I don't know why I pressed that. Has a check mark though. It's called Blood Bath.

on Jun. 20 2013 at 9:35 am
SaphiraBrightscales DIAMOND, Islamabad, Other
75 articles 16 photos 1136 comments

Favorite Quote:
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou
When i was little/I used to point a chubby finger toward the dark sky/And ask my father/why some stars moved and others didn’t/He would laugh and explain that some were airplanes/I still wish on them today ~ Laugh-It-Out
The feathers of a crow are black/The ink of my pen is blacker/The pain of my heart is blackest~ Mckay
If love produced a blossom/I’d take it in my palm/What a blessing, the bright color!/How soothing, such a balm!/I’d keep a petal for my own/The rest, drop from my hands/For such a flower would multiply/And populate the lands~ thesilentraven
And I began to rival legends/Long entombed before my birth./But for all my much envied fame/The lust for more would not abate./The plaques and prizes with my name/Will, like all things, disintegrate. ~ TheEpic95 now known as Helena_Noel

You're welcome, as always. I've been pretty busy but well, but weather is awfully hot..I suppose the lack of outdoor activities is what makes me prefer winter and not summer. Thank you for asking. All my best wishes. 

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jun. 19 2013 at 2:22 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

Thanks, Liv. I always appreciate your feedback. Always. It makes my day Even when I'm not feeling 100%. It keeps me rocking. TeenInk.com/poetry/free_verse/article/555889/Blood-Bath/ If you like you can read this. Unfortunately, when I submitted it, I pressed Anonymous. -_- Now, not many people get to read it. But I did write it. And yes, MyApocalytic once again inspired me. Talk to you soon hopefully. 

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jun. 19 2013 at 2:15 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

Thanks. Saphira. The "sliver" was a typo. Glad things worked out...again. Not the first time. Thank you for catching that. And I've been having some rough days. But I can't complain. I've been well. You? Thanks so much. 

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jun. 19 2013 at 2:08 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

If you notice, most of the speakers of my peoms if they describe themselves, they add the imperfections they have. Meanwhile, their lovers are perfect. I don't know why I do that with my poetry. I guess it adds some personal-ness in them. I'm glad you caught that. Not a lot of people do. Thanks, Krasota.

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jun. 19 2013 at 2:06 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

Thanks a ton.

on Jun. 13 2013 at 7:48 pm
uhmjanis BRONZE, Irvine, California
3 articles 0 photos 6 comments
so i'm kind of just sitting here reading a ton of your stuff and i'm impressed. i love thie poem. so beautiful.

on Jun. 13 2013 at 5:40 pm
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD, No Where, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 444 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.” –David Letterman

I thought this was hauntingly beautiful and I love how you included "cracked lips." Not many people are willing to show the imperfections of a poem's narrator, and I loved that you included that small little description. :D Have a great day!

on Jun. 13 2013 at 3:50 am
SaphiraBrightscales DIAMOND, Islamabad, Other
75 articles 16 photos 1136 comments

Favorite Quote:
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
- Maya Angelou
When i was little/I used to point a chubby finger toward the dark sky/And ask my father/why some stars moved and others didn’t/He would laugh and explain that some were airplanes/I still wish on them today ~ Laugh-It-Out
The feathers of a crow are black/The ink of my pen is blacker/The pain of my heart is blackest~ Mckay
If love produced a blossom/I’d take it in my palm/What a blessing, the bright color!/How soothing, such a balm!/I’d keep a petal for my own/The rest, drop from my hands/For such a flower would multiply/And populate the lands~ thesilentraven
And I began to rival legends/Long entombed before my birth./But for all my much envied fame/The lust for more would not abate./The plaques and prizes with my name/Will, like all things, disintegrate. ~ TheEpic95 now known as Helena_Noel

Hey, Mckay ...how are you? You know I really try to be as honest as I can with the comments I post and to say here That "I Love it" would be quite unfair.. because one cannot truly love something unless they completely understand it and I do understand it some, but not all...  I mean the basic fabric isn't hard to grasp, but I do feel there is a great depth to this that  I somehow cannot go into probably because I have not ever been in the same situation so I cannot say I understand, I mean...god I'm so confusing you right? Ah ,well...I just mean I understand what it means but not what it -feels- f you know what I mean ...since I've never felt that...But anyway I love love the way you use silver again and again. And Oh in the third line did you really mean to write "sliver" or typo? Love always.

on Jun. 11 2013 at 6:57 pm
Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York, New York
38 articles 0 photos 445 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light" --Dylan Thomas

Hey Mckay! Long time no talk and to be honest i kinda miss you're feedback and work so i decided to update myself on what was going on on your page. More amazing poetry as usual. As soon as I saw the title i immediately thought of MyApocoliptic its very her. Brilliant work as usual. So what's going on? I am just here at anytime and if you need me just come to my page and tell me if you ever want me to read something or just stop by my forums. I am always here to read your work and offer honest feedback. I love the descriptions it really painted a picture in my mind. Well that's all, just keep on rockin Mckay