Loving My Abuser | Teen Ink

Loving My Abuser

June 4, 2013
By Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski


You threw me a round a bit, back then.
Almost like a merry-go-round,
Fast.
Faster.
Spinning—
And then,
You stopped the journey abruptly,
Flinging me to the ground,
The momentum
Of our clandestine love
Halted
For at least one moment, the truth revealed.
You see,
Sometimes I knew how you hated me
While you kissed me,
And yet how did it matter, when I was so enraptured
In you?
I those moments, I remembered briefly
The bruises on my neck and arms, by your hands,
And then there was the pocketknife and the
Cuts,
Afterwards,
Self-inflicted misery, self-hatred, and worse of all,
The thought that maybe
When all is brought to light, when I finally see you,
I really will be worth
Nothing,
And the lies and secrets—the love we shared—
Will be flung to the dust
With me,
And I’ll be left to lay in my own
Addiction,
And my moth-eaten depravity.


The author's comments:
Not a personal experience, I just felt compelled to write on the subject.

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This article has 3 comments.


HazelGrace said...
on Jul. 28 2013 at 2:04 am
awww :( This is amazing. The pain and sorrow is evident but you made it art. Fantastic work

on Jun. 21 2013 at 7:20 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

Thank you so much,  I'm glad you understand :)

on Jun. 21 2013 at 6:16 pm
Carpe-Caffeam GOLD, No Where, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 444 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.” –David Letterman

So sad...I admire how you manage to hit on all the touchy topics that no one really wants to cover, and so beautifully and truthfully, too. Good job with the merry-go-round metaphor! :D