I can't remember
when sweaty palms
became my new normal.

I can't remember
when the goosebumps started.
Or when yous touch
started bringing butterflies
to my stomach.

I can't remember
when I stopped
loving you.

I can't remember how to laugh with you,
or how to be myself around you.

I can't remember
when I removed my heart
from your crushing grip.
NO, love didn't hurt me,
you did.

I don't want to remember
the way we always had to fight,
you always had to be right,
even when you were straight out wrong.
Stubborn isn't a good luck for you,
and neither is lust.
And pressuring me and questioning my choices
only made matters worse.

But you didn't see it.
All you saw was
my body up-for-grabs,
and my heart in your hands.

And no matter how hard I try,
I can't forget you.