Forgive me dear Father though you sleep

The never ending sleep of death,

Never to awaken as I did.

My destruction of you is now complete

And so I drown in misery

My sins too great for this once pure heart to bear

Haunting are my memories

I pity you, abhor myself

We thought my soul dead

Both you and I

I murdered one of your joys without guilt

But in time my guilt increased a thousandfold

For lack of love, became I stone

A creature of muted feeling

And yet my pains and joys and angers were exquisite

My obsessions with thee

And yours with me

Hath fully consumed our lives

Your joys were slain

Mine never achieved beginning

You showed hope when I had none

I vowed to strip it from you,

Make you miserable as me

Unable to find love from familiar faces

Now I secrete myself unsympathised in the icy wastes

In the harshest of wild places

Where the most adventurous of human eyes

Shall never see my ugliness

To die in the deepest sorrow

To give myself an ugly fare,

As fodder for the flames

Thus passes an angel

Deformed to a devil

I shall weep in the ashes of my own destruction

Triumphant in the second bodily death

I would that this agony could have passed sooner

I would that your life and happiness could be restored

But there is joy in death

Peace and love for an unloved soul

From a true God

To be a true Adam

And you, again with your friends and family

The victims of my hands.

Father, I shall soon join you in the netherworld

Perhaps you may love me then.