My thoughts are jumbled.
Words race and tumble through my head
Telling me things.
Telling me lies.
Telling me what I need to think.
Feel.
Do.
Turn up the music.
Turn up the world outside.
Drown out the thoughts.
The voices.
Myself.
Where is this coming from?
What makes me feel this way?
So obsessed,
Compelled,
Needing desperately to obey their commands
No matter how insane
Just to make them go away?
Whose voices are these
That I try so hard not to hear,
But so desperately want to understand?
Why is my own mind fighting me?
Why do these voices want to end our life?
No.
My life.
My OCD tells me to touch the fire.
My OCD tells me to speed off the cliff.
My OCD tells me to put these marks on my wrists.
This is not me.
This is a product of years of silence.
What you see is what society is going to get.
If we do not start accepting mental illness,
What do we really expect from these kids?
They cope.
They lie.
They pretend.
No one ever knows what’s going on inside their heads.
I am breaking the bonds my own mind has impressed upon me,
Which were only supported by what society has to say.
I am speaking out for others who are still hiding at home.
I am speaking out for others like me to know they are not alone.
Because you are not alone.
We are not alone.
And it’s time for everyone to know.