January 1. 2014
I'm not the prettiest girl in school
Or the smartest
Or the anything really
I'll bet you hear that a lot though don't you
Yes there is certainly a lot of that
Low-self esteem and what not
Don't get me wrong
I'm content
I really am
I have a good life
But sometimes that just doesn't feel like enough
I'm trapped
Trapped in the middle
in the pack
I want to stand out at something
Anything!
I can't just keep being average
Or below

*Wish you were here
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January 14.
I've thought about it some more
Let me explain
I have NEVER
Been part of the herd
I have never wanted to
But sometimes I can't tell

*Wish you were here
-----------------------
February 1.
I haven't written in a while
I've been "Finding myself"
Imagine that as an excuse
Okay I get it
Give me a break
I know exactly how overused that phrase is
I'll come up with a better one later

*Wish you were here
-----------------------
February 14.
I want to find love
A powerful one
Like the ones you read about in books
All consuming
Uncontrollable
Beautiful
But nothing happens
I am isolated
Completely surrounded by people

*Wish you were here
-----------------------
February 16
I want to rise above
Have adventure
Have you ever felt like this?
No longer happy with everyday life
Now like I said before
I am content
But...
It's truly hard being stuck in the middle
Or below
You need something in your life
you need someone
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Please let me know because
I feel completely alone

*Wish you were here
-----------------------
February 2
Let me tell you something
It's a secret so don't go spreading it around
My biggest fear
It's not feeling
I know that sounds stupid
But that is the case
I'm afraid of bleakness
just getting by
I'm afraid of turning grey
without knowing so much more than I do now

*Wish you were here
-----------------------
Of course
I'm afraid of feeling too much as well
Just not as bad
I've always said that I can deal with that
I am stuck in the pack
but I stick out like a sore thumb
We all do
We look around and we compare ourselves
And we are
Not content!
What is the point of this
Tell me!
You never would...
you never can.

*Wish you were here
-----------------------
April 10.
I'm sorry for getting mad at you
I've done a lot of thinking since then
And the truth is
I don't know these things
But neither does anyone else
.
And I do stand out
I'm not just part of the pack
I never will be
I'm going to do something great

*Wish you were here
--------------------------

A folded up pice of paper falls into the fire
A bird calls
A breeze ruffles the grass
and a girl hopes

*Wish you were here