Today I’m trying not to say the usual things.

Keeping up conversation
Has never been something I’m
Especially good at,
But I’m convinced that today has to be an exception.

As I climb the steps of the school
Confidently
For the first time in history,
I take a deep breath and remind myself that
Today’s the day
For being who I’m not.
I tell myself to
Do away with the boring rants of poetry,
Books,
And music.
Instead, replace it with
Interesting stories,
Agreeable nods,
And identical giggles.

The world’s a stage,
And you have to play your part
To receive applause.
Right?

So that’s when I allow the words to flow from my lips,
As if I am someone else.
And I’m surprised as I chirp with the others
(Who flock around me now like pigeons)
About nothing really in particular;
“Where’d you get those shoes?”
“Did you dye your hair?”
“OMG, shhh, he just looked this way.”

And it comes to me suddenly,
In the midst of what they consider “conversation,”
That this is not who I am.
It’s not who I want to be.

I realize I have to be myself
In order to be me.