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Winter of Red Snow
May 15, 2014
Red snow
splattered
across the streets,
as though
tomatoes were thrown.
That not what happened.
She lays upon the ground
with a knife through her neck.
Broken arm,
and leg.
I was there.
She was beat
and stabbed.
He tried to get me.
Oh.. He tried.
But I ran.
She's dead.
She cant be.
She is lost
and cant
be found.
Another on.
But many knives.
Stabbed repeatedly.
My Mom!!!
Dead!!
Everywhere I look,
they die.
They are lost
and cant be found.
He wants me.
Only me.
Trying to scare me
out of hiding.
Wont happen.
Never.
I have no one left.
He knows that.
No way to get me.
But he finds a way.
I wake up
on the cold
dark
ground.
All around me
I see the
Winter of Red Snow.
© Kelsie L., Sun City, AZ
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 7 comments.
MattMattHatter PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 24 2014 at 11:32 pm
I like the detachment and factuality (is that a word? I just invented a word) about it, but the grammar is a bit iffy. Overall, very good :)
I really like the concept of pursuit in this poem, but in places, grammar is shaky. Also, if you have too many exclamation marks in one place, it can seem immature and can't is spelt like that, not cant. There are other examples of mistakes, but I think if you scanned through it briefly, you could easily correct it. I'm not sure if I like the simple language but I like to go OTT so maybe that's just me... :) Overall, I like the ideas in this :)
AllSoPlayfulWhenYouDemonize BRONZE said...
on May. 17 2014 at 2:55 pm
Wow. This is really good. 5 stars!(:
