Why do I feel this way? I just don't get it. It's like every time I eat I need a personal paramedic. One minute I'm perfectly fine, then I start sweating and my hands start shaking. Suddenly I have become bad at decision making. I always get so excited at the sight or smell of food, but once I'm almost done, I'm no longer in the mood. I can never finish anything and my mom is starting to get worried. She says, "come one lets go," to the hospital she wants to scurry. I say, "no mommy I'm fine. I just had too much to eat," I can't dine. Even though I want to eat everything my stomach can't handle anything. I keep making trips to the restroom like it's my job and my mom always asks, "what for?" I reply with, "I have to go die on the floor." She knows I'm joking of course, but we both know I can't take it anymore. I don't know what else to ask for. I have asked Him several times to make sure I'm alright and that I get through the night. I can't keep asking and never returning. He does so much for me and I feel like I don't give back. I feel as though one day He is just going to crack. He won't do me this favor any longer, I have to solve the problem on my own. I have to get stronger, that's the only way I will have known. Known that I have grown as a person and I'm independent. I can't keep relying on Him like my life is a plane and He is the flight attendant.