the fall | Teen Ink

the fall

September 16, 2014
By simplyinferior GOLD, Ottawa, Illinois
simplyinferior GOLD, Ottawa, Illinois
15 articles 0 photos 23 comments

We all fall down,

one after the other

Some make a sound

others light as a feather

Water is pure, but wine is sweeter

When I step up to the plate,

I choose neither

take a hand from your brother

and hope it doesn't slip

Walk down this road together

and hope that you don't trip

The futer woven together by threads

some knotted forever 

others left for dead

You say that it is Nirvana you seek

so your days won't grow cold

your muscles never weak

the bitheness of it all 

could just be pretend

so when we all fall,

you'll find out in the end

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This article has 2 comments.

on Oct. 8 2015 at 7:06 pm
writer-violist DIAMOND, Jenks, Oklahoma
63 articles 4 photos 84 comments

Favorite Quote:
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
― Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

Hi! Great job on this poem! I like how it rhymes, how you put the cover image of a girl falling down, and the imagery in your poem. I also think that your line spacing is great because it really fits the poem and I enjoyed the poem. I like that for your first line you wrote, "We all fall down" because that is so true. Very nice. Write on! :)

on Aug. 17 2015 at 5:47 pm
Consalvator BRONZE, South Jordan, Utah
1 article 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Cool rhyme shceme. Watch your meter, it was inconsistent. Also, you have some spelling errors (bitterness, future). I really like the progression of the poem (it goes somewhere).