I am from a lake in Valley, NE in the summers
The late night swims in Ginger Cove, cabin 43
That little girl who refused to get out to water to eat
From the bonfires, and firework shows on Fourth of July
To nurse the wild ducks that come back to our cabin every year for our bread
And letting the fish swallow the hooks
Hiding under the docks and the upside down inner-tube
Getting the giant splinters when I didn’t wear shoes on the dock

I am from the boat
Driving at age four by myself
From learning from my mistakes as I grow older
To almost striking a bird, and going to fast
And making new friends each year

I am from the soccer field
The hard conditioning and laps around the field
To the cleat marks and scars
And the imprints of the soccer ball hitting my leg
From the early morning scrimmages
And the tournaments on the weekends
To becoming second place in our district

I am from my Great Grandpa Buck talking the my dad
From “Do the math Scotty”
To “Are those real tattoos, Scott?”
“She’s always your little girl”

I am from my best friend Nathan
From the late night calls
The deep conversations of life and death
To the fun filled humor we both share
Creating memories at the mansion, pool, and movie theater
Laughing so hard, I fall off my bed
Our relationship is based off of faith, trust, and laughter
Forgetting the past, bad habits, and huge mistakes we have both made
Focusing on the future the stands before us

I am from Scott
The worlds best father, who has never given up on his little girl
From the Alan Jackson, Kenny Chesney and country music blaring in his truck
To the forty-five minute drives to Valley
To driving the boat and him losing his hat in the same spot on the lake;
Which happened every year

I am from Louie
The most astonishing and caring mom anyone could ask for
From her laugh, words of sagacity, and smiles
To her soft voice, and wonderful warm hugs
And her guiding me in the right direction
Letting me fall on my face from time to time
Only for me to learn my lesson and not do it again
The love from her, that is unconditional
And that bright, happy smile she always has upon her face

I am from my amazing best friend Carson
From her hysterical laugh (which is funnier than the joke)
To her personality, wink, and the joy she brings to my life
No matter what she says, she can make my day better to keep me going
She’s seen me at my best and even at my worst when I was breaking
She is honestly the best friend that I’ve always wanted

I am from Aaron
My loving cousin, who was also my best friend, I lost due to suicide.
He was always there at school with a smile
He also had an orange shirt on most of the time.
He was the best cousin I could ask for
Losing him was so hard
I couldn’t bare the loss
Even after a month; I still can’t believe he’s gone

I am from the property
From cantering in cornfields with Yukon
To running barrels on Sadie
Racing back up to the round pin from the pasture
To getting bucked and trampled over
From going up a dirt pile in the Polaris Ranger
Tipping it and having it land on my leg
Laughing and reminiscing about it ten minutes later

I am from the bonfires on those cool summer nights
The marshmallows roasting and falling off the rod
To burning it so much, the dogs ate it
And the late nights where we played hide and seek

I am from the late night
The tear stained pillows
Unanswered cries and questions
The contemplation of giving up or going on

I am from melancholy
The last five to six year lost to demons inside my head
Falling deeper and deeper into the hole of depression
From the feeling of emptiness
The feeling of worthlessness
The feeling of not being good enough for anything

I am from a life where no matter how hard I try, I fail
From the discomfort
The heartbreaks
The anger
That love from him
To the cheaters, liars, and lost aspiration

I am the from the fake smiles
The girl with hurt in her eyes but a smile on her face
That girl who refuses to eat because she feels fat
From the hurtful words

I am from the glares in the hallway
The thoughts thinking that life is too good for me
I am from the counseling sessions from five to six
The cries of help, but being told stuff I already knew
The journal of writings I wrote when I was tired of life
But yet, I still am

I am from the long days of school
Not being good enough
Not being smart enough
Tall enough
Or even thin enough

I am from those nights of crying over him
From thinking it’s all my fault
To blaming myself for everything that’s happening
It’s all my fault.

I am from myself
From getting pushed down by others;
But pulling myself back up
From crying myself to sleep;
But getting up the next morning with a smile
I am simply, myself