Oblivion | Teen Ink

Oblivion

October 24, 2014
By ceceliajsavoy BRONZE, Tadley, Other
ceceliajsavoy BRONZE, Tadley, Other
3 articles 1 photo 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
&#039;We are just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year. Running over the same old ground, what have we found? The same old fear; wish you were here&#039; - Pink Floyd<br /> <br /> &quot;


Mariana Trench,
Deep sea diving,
Miles below sea-level,
Regulate breathing,
All oxygen on my back,
My life on my back.

Diving buddy,
Four metres in front,
Black suit for the cold,
I’m wearing one too,
Yellow tank on his back,
I’m wearing one too.

Striking creatures,
Unknown species,
All colours possible,
Some scuttle,
Some glide,
All are graceful.

Lost my buddy,
Black suit now camouflaged,
Where is he?
Trying to stay calm,
Do not waste oxygen,
He will turn up.

Getting worried,
Must stay calm,
I’m not managing it,
Where’s my buddy?
Calling, Shouting,
Forgetting none can hear me.

Make a decision:
Look for him or save myself,
I choose the second,
I might die!
Swim urgently up,
Staying calm forgotten.

Tank bumped against something!
Against a rock,
Oxygen seeping out,
My oxygen seeping out,
Bubbles floating upwards,
My bubbles floating upwards.

Desperately swimming up,
Chances are I won’t make it,
Buddy not important,
Save myself, try.
Swim up…
Swim up…

Water looking lighter,
Not deep blue as before,
Maybe I can make it,
Hope gives me strength,
Swim up…
Swim up…

Breathing harder,
Can hear each breath,
Ragged, desperate,
I can’t do this anymore,
I will not survive,
Hope has disappeared.

Make a decision:
Carry on fighting for life or
Let water claim me
I choose the easy option,
A good decision,
Is it the right one?

Stop struggling for breath,
Fall back the way I have come,
Black spots on my eyes,
Let them grow,
Fill me up with darkness,
Sink into the oblivion of water.
 


The author's comments:

I wrote this for a poetry competition at school. I tried to get each line to sound like a thought, and the protagonist to sound real.


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This article has 4 comments.


on Apr. 13 2015 at 10:34 pm
BeautyWhispers PLATINUM, Nevada City, California
21 articles 0 photos 98 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be Yourself, Be Unique, Be Me. :) - By BeautyWhispers

Nice! I love the buddy, not important lol.

on Apr. 3 2015 at 4:36 pm
The_DoctorDonna PLATINUM, Anytown, Iowa
44 articles 2 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Nothing is impossible. The word itself says &#039;I&#039;m Possible&#039;&quot;

Wow, this is really good. You had me cheering for the protagonist of it, then sad about the buddy, then practically sobbing because of how sad the end was. Really good job at evoking emotions!

on Jan. 4 2015 at 7:57 am
ceceliajsavoy BRONZE, Tadley, Other
3 articles 1 photo 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
&#039;We are just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year. Running over the same old ground, what have we found? The same old fear; wish you were here&#039; - Pink Floyd<br /> <br /> &quot;

thank you!

on Nov. 3 2014 at 8:42 pm
contrera SILVER, Burlington, Vermont
7 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Make friends, not horcruxes

Wow, this is a really suspensful and emotional poem, simple repetition is used in a really good way here, the build up is amazing!