The hardest part is that it was obvious from the start
what your intentions really were.
But I chose to be blind.
I stumbled along in the darkness of a starless sky
with only the warmth of your hands to guide me.
I chose to play dumb.
Closing off my ears to live in a world of absolute silence,
where even my own common sense
couldn’t scream loud enough for me to hear.

It was never about the marks you left,
only about the reason I was in your crosshair
I was always questioning-
it was the sound of seconds ticking past.
A repetitive stream of constant thought, an unending babble- 
as if there was an answer I could reveal
that would justify your warfare. 

I was so weak to let you in.
My walls crumbled with the sound of small twigs snapping.
The ocean’s strongest current could not have pulled me away
even when you started spitting your venom.

I could never find the strength to mutter
“Enough.”

I was silver and gold before I met you.
Guarded, smooth and cold.
You crushed my self image into a paste,
with your insults and criticism
you passed off as a blessing.
I fell from my pedestal, my high horse’s hooves pounding off into the distance.

Our bond was a game for you to cut corners in.
You wanted the satisfaction of winning at any price.
My name sank to the bottom of a pool
Of every hand that had once held your heart.
Names of every figure you held close,
every pair of lips that brushed your cheek.
My name sudden insignificant-
I was another burnt out ember in your ashtray.

You told me I was safe with you.
But I was just another game piece set in place
so you could get your fill.

When I finally found courage to raise more than a white flag,
there you were to stomp me out.
There you were to keep me guessing, keep me doubting.
In the end you sought out more when I wasn’t
Enough.