You remember when you like waking up early

                  and you would drink earl grey tea
and
                         you would straighten your hair pretending it was your
sexuality every morning.
           Pretending you were happy was the game.
Then you cut all your hair off.
                                            you dyed it
black,
  started wearing black ripped up
                skinny jeans,
           and stopped eating.
the game was pretending coffee was
           lunch,
                    dinner,
and                            breakfast correct
Than your stomach and soul began to feel
             malnourished;
and you read.
                     and read;
                          and read.
You filled every lustful thought with
                knowledge and lustful thoughts.
You read
                         away the
urges.
The game became finding every book
you hadn’t
                              sunk
your                                           black polished
nails into.
You glance back
                                         and think of when you had
the world in
                            your palm.
You could have had
anything;
                     everything.
But you wished it away with
a puff of
                   smoke, and a glass
bowl to match it.
     The game was getting High
and                                             Hallucinating
that you were floating
                                          through the universe.