Today I bought a shirt with a Stag on it hoping it would be my patronus
But needless to say it didn’t work
The dementors still surround me the way they always do , unseen by muggle but felt nevertheless as they try to keep a distance from dementors object of interest
Lurking around waiting for a little crack in other people’s patronus , to suck away what’s left of the happy from me
You see I don’t have a patronus, I tried to cast it many times but nothing formed except a flicker of light .
People say you have to mean magic to do magic
Maybe I’ll have a patronus someday Maybe I’ll want a patronus someday
Someday other than now
Cause you see I like the feels of a dementor chilling me to my bones while clawing out every bit of happiness

I like feeling like a useless mass feeding away what’s left to give. bit by bit Unloading myself of as much life as i could without dying.
"Expecto patronum ”
Today I bought a shirt with a Stag on it hoping it would be my patronus
But needless to say it didn’t work
They never leave me. always there. always waiting. just like a friend you could always count on.
And I try to keep boundaries in our relation ,you see. never have I allowed a kiss.

A kiss which would relieve me

of all this weight pushing me into the ground

And put me into the ground
As tempted I am even while a saying the above lines
My answer is no
But I wonder till when?