I fell in love with a boy
Whose eyes were a deep, dark brown
Painters only wished
They could recreate on paper.
His smile was addictive,
His company like nicotine to me.
Every night,
He searched for a high
That I could not give him.
He searched in the bottoms of pill bottles,
Pipes, bowls, bongs,
It was never enough.
I went along for the ride,
Every night comforting him,
Giving him adventures.
I kept these memories locked away
In a secret safe
In the back of my brain.
I tried to recreate them
At every moment I could.
I laid in the places he laid,
I played the same songs he listened to.
I followed him into the bottoms of pipes
Trying desperately to find him.
Searching for the high that
I could not give him.
That she could not give him.
I set my insides on fire
Night after night.
Eventually, I learned
It was not the high that I craved;
It was him.
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