For months I am a pale blue -
secluded with headphones plugged at all times,
silent with the thought of saying something wrong,
shaky with tendrils of anxiety crawling up my neck.
Pale blue, the better part of me, the part I like more.
Closed off,
quiet,
calm.
But with time something in me changes and I become a safety cone orange.
Laughing with joy and inclusion,
loquacious with words flowing like a river,
lively with a smile permanent on my face.
The complete opposite, the more embarrassing part of me, the part I like hidden.
Open,
loud,
rambunctious.
Time, the thing that changes me the most.
Change, my worst fear.
Fear, what keeps me a pale blue.