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Brooklyn Bridge
March 21, 2012
I saw her daily
Staring down at the water
And one day, she jumped.
© Alexis C., Phoenix, AZ
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 23 comments.
SpringRayyn PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 24 2015 at 10:00 am
You are very insightful! I didn't even think about this when I wrote and posted this poem, but you are absolutely right.
SpringRayyn PLATINUM said...
on Mar. 23 2015 at 3:59 pm
"looking down to the water" and "staring down at the water" have the same syllable count, unless you're pronouncing the words differently than I am.
SpringRayyn PLATINUM said...
on Oct. 12 2013 at 11:17 am
I was just sad one day, and somehow this is what I thought of.
OldYoungOne said...
on Oct. 11 2013 at 3:16 pm
Talk about an eye opener. Its like a smack in the face with that last line. Good job at waking the reader up. I must say. I wouldn't change anything. But I will ask where did you get the idea from.
Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 24 2013 at 7:18 pm
wow. truly breathtaking. keep up the amazing work and keep rockin
CrazySissi GOLD said...
on Sep. 17 2013 at 10:40 pm
This poem is very literal but truely captures your attention.
AlaskaFrost GOLD said...
on May. 28 2012 at 4:59 pm
This haiku is so expertly written! You pack a lot of meaning and depth into such a small poem, but it's so beautiful. Its minimalism allows it to appear simple but to also be very complex. This is perfect.
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM said...
on May. 4 2012 at 6:56 pm
I like how this poem can be interpreted in many ways. It doesn't lock the readers in one meaning. I also like that you got the hang out of this haiku (most people don't :D) I think this is a very great job although I'm not sure with the title.
vetlover21 SILVER said...
on Apr. 14 2012 at 11:46 am
yesit is a nice poem but i title ocnfused me i it sound like it's suicide but i'm not really sure what your talking about but i think it's amazing how you feel so confident that you can write a thre line poem andtry to put a story in it. iamost getit but this is just my opinion. keep writing and let me know if there's anything you want me to read
Jessi_suarez1 GOLD said...
on Apr. 10 2012 at 8:55 pm
wow i actually LOVED this one!! and trust me i am extremely picky with poems but thise one was good! excellent job!!
eternal_sunshine SILVER said...
on Apr. 2 2012 at 4:15 pm
Very beautifully done. As others have said, it really made me think. I am impressed at how much meaning you packed into three lines. Really nice job :)
AgentOrange789 GOLD said...
on Apr. 1 2012 at 12:40 am
Wow. I'm really amazed. This really made me think a lot.
dreamshaker said...
on Mar. 30 2012 at 8:11 pm
I'm absolutely amazed by how much meaning and emotion you've packed into so few words. This was simply beautiful. There is honestly not a single thing I would change in this - it's perfection.
This was very powerful - one of the best haikus that I've seen on Teenink so far. It should be in the magazine.
This was very powerful - one of the best haikus that I've seen on Teenink so far. It should be in the magazine.
Behind_a_Plastic_Smile GOLD said...
on Mar. 30 2012 at 7:55 pm
i agree completely-so little word, such a big message and so much depth. this was beautifully written.