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He Has Faded
Often I catch vague hints of his cologne upon my hands while on the floor I lay.
These memories of him show up unannounced and either improve or hinder my day.
What forces me back to his memory, I wonder?
He isn’t gone, merely waiting around the largest corner.
During the downtime of the loneliness I do not share,
I remember all the times he’s shown that he cares.
I cannot recall what changed; what event took shape
That caused him to leave this admittedly dismal place.
I wonder if he thinks of me more often than I of him.
I wonder what state of mind my memory has left him in.
Do you cry at night thinking of lost times?
Memories that could have been forged if only the past went without crimes.
Can you hear my laugh throughout your house while it sits empty inside? Vacant of youth and children’s screams when they see the fears of the night.
Have tears ever flooded your eyes when you dream of what could have been?
How mere whims and unthought choices tore apart your soul within.
I did not want to feel this,
For my cheeks to forget your warm and gentle kiss.
In class, at home, casually, as I’m on my own, your face enters my mind.
This pure rage I hardly ever experience leaves me in a bind.
I understand it is hard to let each other be.
But, sadly, this is life, and all of its choices poorly affect you and me.
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