Oh no, not another Twilight review!

It had to happen folks; the bigger it becomes, the greater span of fans it receives, and all the more hate mail the author gets. Before I begin this long, hard trek, I must first warn you that I have read all of the books and am not a ‘Twi-hard’ or ‘Twi-hater.’ The series made its debut in 2005 with a whopping 75,000 copies printed and sold. After Twilight came New Moon (2006), Eclipse (2007), and Breaking Dawn (2008). “The series as a whole has sold over 70 million copies worldwide in 37 languages” (borrowed from Wikipedia).

Twilight: Bella moves from Arizona (hot, dry, and sunny) to Forks, Washington (cold, wet, rainy) to live with her father Charlie while her mother travels with her step-dad Phil. Upon arriving she is immediately bombarded with question by several students-mostly those of the male variety-and feels overwhelmed. She (kind of) meets Edward Cullen and his family without being formally introduced and is saved by him later on, thus starting the “plot.” Bella learns that Edward and his family are vampires and they fall in love, even though he repeatedly claims that he is “too dangerous” for her to be around. After a while the Cullens’ decided to play baseball and they meet three dangerous vampires, one of which wants to eat Bella. So the hunt begins…Bella is attacked, James the Evil Vampire is killed and all is right in the small world of Bella and Edward.

New Moon: On Bella’s eighteenth (or is it seventeenth) birthday the Cullens’ throw her a party and she gets a paper cut, which automatically causes the entire family to leave the town and for Bella to be horribly heartbroken. After many months she discovers that she can “hear” Edward’s voice if she does dangerous things, so guess what she does! Jacob Black-the boy she is secretly in love with-turns out to be a werewolf and Edward goes to Italy because he thinks she’s dead. She saves him and all is right (again) in the small world of Bella and Edward.

Eclipse: Seattle has many unsolved murders popping up that point to an uncontrollable young vampire (something Edward is actually right about in the end). Bella hangs out with Jacob (her still secret love) and becomes engaged to Edward. Edward, Bella, Jacob, and cutie Seth hide out from the evil army of vampires put together by James’ love, (the bad guy from the first book) Victoria. Bella kisses Jacob and (finally) realizes that she loves him to, but breaks his heart when she explains that she loves Edward more. They defeat the evil vampire babies and Jacob disappears. Maybe everything is not right in the small world of Bella and Edward.

Breaking Dawn: After marrying Edward Bella discovers that she has been-to coin a term-“knocked up.” And she refuses to give the baby (“evil monster”) up. Jacob comes back, forms his own pack, and falls in love with the new born Renesmee (don’t even ask what that means…). Bella becomes a vampire and is automatically amazing at it, something everyone seems surprised about, she has great powers, and, oh, did I forget to mention the pending doom that will converge on Forks in the winter? The Volturi have outlawed “immortal children” and think that Nesee is one of them (seriously, that is her nickname). But, yet again, for the fourth and final time, all is well in the small (yet slowly growing) world of Bella and Edward, plus Renesmee, Jacob, Esme, Charlie, Carlisle, Alice, Jasper, Emmet, Rosalie, Leah, Seth, and everyone else…