"This is Commander G?o speaking, earth to astronaut Shields," Ming said waving her hand in front of my face.
"Wha?" I asked tearing my eyes away from the back of the cute, one and only, Henry Oakley. Ming laughed to herself.
"You were drooling and staring creepily at Henry again."
"I was not drooling!"
"Sure you weren't," Ming said and rolled her eyes. She ran her hand through her straight black hair and gave me a knowing look. I looked down to see that I still had a bunch of food left on my tray while Ming had finished her lunch and was reading a comic.
"Do you think he'll ever notice me?" I sighed while munching on a carrot.
"Eddie, it's kind of hard not to notice a girl with red frizzy hair that is always tripping over her own feet." She had hit me right in the sore spot, and I tentatively touched my frizzy hair that I had coaxed into a ballerina bun.
"Ming, I thought we agreed we'd stop bringing up my hair?"
"Your hair speaks for itself," my brother said sliding into a chair right next down to me. He had barely anything on his tray. Actually he had nothing on his tray except for my pendant I had purposely forgotten at home. I cursed under my breath as he put the necklace on my tray and started taking food in exchange.
"Stop taking my food."
"It's payment for always remembering to give you your pendant."
"Has it occurred to you that maybe I forgot it on purpose?"
"Just like you forgot your umbrella? Shame on you, Odette."
"I told you to call me Eddie!"
"It's a boy's name."
"So?"
"Could you two argue any louder?" Ming hissed from behind her comic. Charlie looked at her with doe eyes. It was totes obvious that he had a major crush on Ming, my best friend. Of course, Ming, being the deviate she was, ignored all advances of the most popular boy in school. My brother was sadly head over heels, so he settled with the friend zone.
"Sorry," he replied dropping his voice. He turned back to me handing me my umbrella. It wasn't any normal umbrella, oh no, it was actually a sword that looked like an umbrella. It was so I could bring it to school without getting into trouble. The only problem was that we lived In sunny California where it never rained. Carrying the umbrella around only made me look like a bigger dork than I already was. I groaned putting the pendant around my neck and holding the umbrella in my lap.
"Why do I have to be the dragon slayer? Why couldn't it have been you," I said glaring at my older brother.
"Because I have a life, while you, being the biggest geek at our school, do not," he answered then stuffed his face with my potato chips.
"How are we related! How did you get so cool?"
"It's all about looks and natural born coolness."
"Don't forget great hair," Ming inputed. Charlie pointed at Ming and said, "Yeah, that too."
"Well I would have great hair if someone would share with me how they keep theirs manageable!"
"No can do little sis, ancient family secret."
"I am your family!"
"Jeezus, stop yelling," Ming hissed. I let out a huff and went back to oogling at the back of Henry's head. Perfect southern boy Henry. By the size of his muscles, you could tell that he did a lot of heavy working at his family's vineyard. I also noted that he was wearing a button down plaid shirt just like moi. I admit, I did buy five plaid shirts because Henry wore them all the time.
"Stop sighing, it's grossing me out," Charlie whined. I turned my head to glare at him.
"Shouldn't you be sitting with your own friends?" I asked.
"Nah, they can live without my awesomeness for a bit." I was about to retort back, but then a loud roar shook the cafeteria. Students started screaming, and the lights flickered off and on. Ming put down her comic and looked at me.
"I think Mr. Jigglypuff has woken up again," she said.
"Jigglypuff?" My brother asked looking at me.
"There is no time to question my naming skills. There is a dragon outside!" I yelled running towards the exit with umbrella in hand and Ming in tow.
"Whoa there ladies, where do you think you two are going?" asked a teacher blocking our path.
"Bathroom," we both answered.
"No can do, principal wants everyone in the cafeteria." Ming and I looked at each other unsure of what too do. Another roar shook the cafeteria causing a few students to scream.
"I need to get out there or Mr. Jigglypuff is going to destroy something," I hissed to Ming.
"Well what do you expect me to do? Teachers are blocking the exits."
"I just need a distraction to slip out."
"I went to the year three-thousand. Nothing has changed but they're liven underwater. And your great great granddaughter is doin' fine cause I'm burning up, burning up for you baby," I turned around to see that my brother, the cool kid, was on top of one of the tables singing Jonas Brothers songs. "Oh, I need an SOS don't get a second guess... Can't remember the rest of the chorus! Now I'm speechless over the edge."
He sent me a wink and I gave him a smile. He was a pain in my butt, continued to mock me with his tamed curly hair, and only referred to me as "geek" at school, but he always had his dorky sister's back. The teacher went to go get my brother off of the table leaving Ming and I the chance to slip out the door. When the two of us ran out, Mr. Jigglypuff roared out causing the ground the shake. Ming and I dropped to the ground knowing it was better to wait it out than to try and run. We learned that the hard way when Julio, a dragon of course, swatted me against a wall because I was walking too slow. While on the ground, I twisted the handle of the umbrella, causing the Arthurian sword to slip out. I threw the empty shell at Ming and charged for the giant sickly white dragon.
Mr. Jigglypuff was an albino Japanese dragon. He didn't have any wings and was able to fly through the sky like a snake that slithers on the ground. He had a box shaped head and whiskers that floated in the air. He was about thirteen feet long and was as tall as a school bus. Some parts of his white skin had a pale pink tent which led to his name, Jigglypuff. Plus I was obsessed with Pokémon the week I found him.
"Hey, Jigglypuff!" I yelled waving my sword around like a crazy person. He turned to me and let another roar out. I dropped to the ground on my stomach. He opened his mouth nice and wide giving me a view of his pearly white shark teeth. I gulped bracing myself for the next bit, the bit with fire. The dragon let out out a giant puff of air with fire following. I quickly rolled to the left and got back on my feet. Where I had been was now a giant fire. I ran to the other side of the dragon hoping to distract him while Ming used the handy dandy fire extinguisher to make sure the school didn't burn down...again.
"Over here you oversized marshmallow!" I yelled running toward the schools Gym. I had to get to high ground so the hight would be even. The dragon simply started walking towards me, making a show of trying to swat me with it's claws. When I swiftly opened the gym's doors and slammed them behind me, a loud roar vibrated the giant building. I had to stand there a couple of seconds before I could run for the roof. When the brooding grumbling of the dragon stopped, I went for the stairwell without having to think about it. I thought that after using this tactic on Mr. Jigglypuff every single time he woke up that he would catch on. He never did and I always ended up beating him. I jumped over three stairs easily and raced towards the ladder leading to the roof. When I finally made it to the roof, I turned around to see that albino dragon was already there ready to breathe fire. I jumped out of the way as fire shot towards me.
"Crap!" I heard Ming yell from below. Crap indeed because now the gym was on fire. Without missing a beat, I tore off my pendant and started swinging it around in wide circle motions.
"With the power of my ancestors who were appointed as dragon slayers by King Arthur himself, I will vanquish you!" I yelled at Mr. Jigglypuff. I then let go of the pendant causing it to sore then hitting the dragon right in between the eyes. The dragon blinked and simply disappeared. I let out a sigh and fanned myself.
"Eddie, get down here!" Ming yelled. I turned behind me to see that the entrance to the stairs was blocked by fire. I took in a deep breath and stared at my pendant. It landed by the edge of the roof. Wasting no time, I ran towards the pendant. I rolled so I could easily grab it and then leapt off the roof. Ming screamed from somewhere below as I flew through the air.
Please don't die. I'm too funny to die. I still haven't had my first kiss. Mr. King Arthur just don't let me die. I thought as I started dropping to the ground quickly. Then I saw what I had to do. A plan suddenly appeared in my head and I executed it as I was still planning it. I rotated my body so I had a better shot of running into the tree than the ground. When I hit the tree I pushed off of it with my feet causing me to linger in the air a little bit more. I prepared myself to roll when I hit the ground, but when I got into position, someone ran underneath me causing me to crash into them. We both went "oof" and everything hurt.
"My butt," I managed to moan as I laid on top of the person.
"My back," the familiar voice groaned. I quickly rolled off of the person and blushed deeply. Holymacaronimyauntfannygivemecandy, Henry freakin' Oakley had heard me say, "My butt."
"I am so sorry!" I said and hid my face. Henry laughed.
"You should be saying 'thank you' not 'sorry.' I'll live though."
"No, no, no. That must have hurt because I am not skinny and then I have all this muscle that makes me hard as a rock and it's all because of my genetics and then I bet you got a mouthful of my hair I am so sorry that you had to rescue me I really didn't rescuing but it was a sweet gesture and-" I just continued to ramble off as Henry patted dirt off of himself.
"Odette, it's no problem. But what were you doing out here anyway? Why were you in a tree? And why is the gym on fire?" he asked looking around.
"Er..."
"Eddie!" Ming yelled running to us. She tackled me yelling how worried she was. I patted her back and reassured her that I was fine. She turned to Henry.
"Thanks for saving her, I'm sorry that she's such a pain."
"It was okay. I walk out of the cafeteria to see you screaming, the gym on fire, and Odette here jumping out of a tree. I did what any guy would do and try to catch her," he answered and shrugged. I look at Ming giving her my look that said Henry-freakin'-Oakley-is-a-perf-angel.
"So why is the gym on fire?" he asked. Ming and I look away from each other and both answered, "Dry season."
---
A couple of hours after the gym completely burned down, Ming, Charlie, and I were still by the tree looking at the remnants.
"My sword is somewhere in that mess," I muttered.
"Mom is going to kill you," Charlie mused staring at Ming. They were sitting shoulder to shoulder and he practically had his face two inches from hers. She hadn't said anything and was preoccupied with a manga.
"You think the school suspects I burned it down?"
"Nah, that Oakley kid covered for you."
"Hmm." I then started to think of how Henry helped me to the school infirmary and how he told corny jokes the whole time the nurse checked me. Then how the nurse had to check his chest for any bruises. What I saw of his chest, okay not a lot, but what I saw was supermegafoxyawesomehot. For a belly button of course.
"I give you my blessing."
"What?" I asked, thoughts of the infirmary disappearing from my head.
"He's cool. Plus that was quite chivalrous what he did. You're going to need him if you're continue jumping off buildings."
"I've only jumped off five. You make it sound like I do it everyday," I huffed out. Charlie tried to ruffle my hair, but it was in a bun.
"You suck at being a Dragon Slayer. You don't even slay them, you just make them disappear for a while. Plus this is the third building you have burnt to the ground."
"City hall was an accident. They vineyard was an accident. The gym was an accident. Plus I didn't burn them down, that was the dragons doing."
"Still-"
"Yeah, I get it. Odette Shields, teenage Dragon Slayer who can't slay a dragon. Many greats granddaughter of some random dude that King Arthur appointed to slay dragons. Keeper of the useless pendant. Jumps off tall things and burns down an important building every couple of weeks. Her sidekicks are cooler than her. Crushes on a guy who always hear her say the most embarrassing things. Why don't you just make a book about all my misadventures."