Chapter II I have always wondered what death would be like...and now I know.
For me it is cold and slow,sharp pain in my leg and a burning sting inside of me, my hand has lost all feeling but the rest... Even in this comatose state I can feel it. I envy Andrew and Kim. They died quickly without much pain. Even as I sleep I feel hot tears run down my face. Best not to think about them, I need to think of something else, Like what's going to happen to me now... Where am I going to go. I have never been one for religion, But when your on the verge of death you think about these things. I never really was a good kid, I mean I've just been out drinking for heavens sake. I fear for my soul. I've smashed mail boxes,stolen,cursed,and lied. I mean I'm sure I have done my share of good deeds too, but... I wonder will I really go to hell?, or heaven eternity seems so unfathomable. I remember seeing a button before labeled: "where will you spend eternity?" I had scoffed at the elderly woman wearing it when she handed me a flyer for some church. I wonder is it karma that now as I lay dying,my blood trailed across the road, That I am asking myself the very same question. Ughh now Buddhism too?! I had always liked their system. They didn't disagree with other religions, They simply believed that others just confused their religions with Buddhism. Now what I'm nowhere near enlightenment am I gonna get reincarnated as something horrible. Damn I wish I could wake up. I don't wanna die I'm not ready no no no I don't wanna I want to live! Life has never been so precious as right now when I'm about to lose it. Dammit I don't wanna die. I try harder to wake up. Come on open your eyes,Wake up,Liiiiiiiive!!! But inside of me I know that this is just as pathetic, And foolish. As my childhood dreams of flight. ... Flight... I wish i could fly away from this all right now,Like it never happened. Just sprout wings and soar away into the starry night. Or better yet just to sleep to lie here forever and dream. Perhaps the pain will go away. Maybe that's what death is, No pain, No sorry. Just eternal sleep. or maybe this is all a dream. But how can I be dreaming if I Can feel the pain of my severed leg, And feel the warm blood drip down my face. I don't wanna go. Do you hear me?! I DON'T WANT TO GO!!!! i don't wanna die! I w- I want to li-........***
I wake up... But what I see is not my warm cozy bed at home..... It is something... else................