Dear diary,

Today, once again I came home with Nana sleeping in the basement with the T.V on full blast. She always falls asleep like that. I don't know why. But today, something different happened. I woke up, and missed the bus. So, mom had to drive me. We didn't talk the whole way. I made it into school fine. But as usual, no one noticed me. No one said Hi. No one said, "Hey, I like your haircut. Did you get lowlights too?" No...No one did any of that. They just ignored me. I'm a ghost. That's all I'll ever be. 1-18-2008

Dear Diary,

Same thing today. One friend....that's all I need. 1-19-2008

Dear Diary,


It's me again. I came home. And nana was sleeping. The T.V was on full blast. mom didn't even show up. i didn't eat. What's the point. I hate high School. No one notices me. I'm a ghost. That's all I'll ever be. 1-20-2008

Dear Diary, I know that it's been a long time since I wrote in here. but that's because I think that something's wrong...I'm still a ghost. That's all I'll ever be. 2-05-2008

Dear Diary,


Today I held a gun up to my head. I held it there for a while. I thought, Today, like always I went to school. No one noticed me. Nana is always sleeping. Mom is never home. Dad is dead. I'm alone. That's it. Alone in this world. As I held that gun to my head, I thought that if I pulled the trigger, no one would even know who that girl was. So I pulled it. I felt it go through me. It hurt. It felt like needles stabbing me. Thousand in one spot. Yes yes, I shouldn't have done that. But, this isn't the end. Most people see their lifes flash before their eyes...but I saw the opposite. I saw people. Lots of them. They were coming to my funeral. They were all in black. Aunt Katherin flew in from Kentucky. Grandma and Grandpa from dad's side came from China. And my friends from before we moved across the country all came. They said that they needed to. Everyone shook their heads...not knowing how someone like me could do something like this. I watched. And I cried. I didn't think that this many people knew about me...or cared about me. Right as they were about to lower my casket....I blinked. I was still holding that gun. I hadn't pulled the trigger yet. I dropped it. I picked up the phone and called Amy from my old neighborhood. Hearing her voice made me smile. And I haven't been more happy since. I'm alive. I’m not alone. I’m free. Free as a dove. 2-20-2008