The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth | Teen Ink

The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth MAG

January 22, 2009
By Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
15 articles 0 photos 49 comments

I wipe at my stupid eyes with the back of my hand, and it startles me for a second that my tears are gray. I dunno why it surprised me; I mean, I buy the s***ty mascara that’s $1.99 in the 20 Items or Less checkout lane. Why spend oodles of green on something I hardly ever use?

I just wanted to look nice, you know? Like those girls who’re just naturally fake pretty. The girls who can blend shades of eyeshadow like no one’s business, and match their lipstick to the exact color of their toenail polish or whatever. Seemingly effortless, yet impeccably coordinated.

This is good stuff, I should write for a living – solely on the subject of beauty queens with superiority complexes, of course.

I just want … God, what do I want? I want to feel the sun on my face and paint the clouds and hear the music in the trees and love myself and love someone else and just feel perpetually beautiful.

But that requires the $14.99 waterproof, fire-retardant, Grade-5-hurricane-resistant mascara, not the tube that’s two bucks in Lane 4.

My shoes are dirty and outdated, but that’s how I like them. I like these shoes. They’re comfortable. Why do I need new, expensive, fashionably appealing shoes in order for someone to say, “Hey dogg, you look nice today”?

And why is it that whenever I get deathly bored and slather cheap, pore-clogging makeup all over my face everyone suddenly says, “Wow, you look pretty!”? Since when is “pretty” about whale blubber and cocoa butter?

I’ll tell you one thing, though. I most definitely am not crying about some stupid XY.

Definitely not.

I’m crying for all the whales that have to give up their fatty insulation so that some fugly anorexic super bitch can paint herself pretty every freaking day, giving him something halfway decent to oggle all the time.

Seriously, I’m not leaking saltwater over a guy.

I just think it’s cruel and unfair that the fat-endowed marine life population doesn’t even get the slightest warning that they’ll soon be on a cosmetics endcap at K-Mart.

He could have at least broken it to me gently, you know? We’ve been friends since the George Bush/Al Gore debacle.

I mean come the Bette Midler on.

I spill my blood, guts, and viscera out to this guy and he throws down the “Let’s just be friends” card without a second thought?

It’s just … it’s common courtesy to ease someone into heartbreak, not smash it over their head like a whiffleball bat.

You know what? I’m going to take my $1.99 checkout Lane 4 mascara and chuck it right at her big, stupid square head.

The author's comments:
This is literally an excerpt from my journal, so it's a little different when it comes to writing style.

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This article has 476 comments.

Madelyn BRONZE said...
on Jun. 4 2009 at 10:55 pm
Madelyn BRONZE, Longmont, Colorado
4 articles 0 photos 15 comments
Honestly, I didn't like it too much. It's all true, and it teaches something. I like the message, but I didn't really love the writing. For me, it kind of had a 'yeah yeah yeah... I'm bored' tone to it (sorry, if I'm being too honest). I'll shut up now D:

It has a great message though.

Brandi Kim said...
on Jun. 4 2009 at 3:34 pm
Brandi Kim, Sanford, Florida
0 articles 0 photos 20 comments
that is copmletely... i dont even know the word for it. i love it. i also agree

E.Lee GOLD said...
on Jun. 3 2009 at 2:55 pm
E.Lee GOLD, Akron, Ohio
15 articles 0 photos 168 comments
this is seriously really good! i loved it:)

caseybee06 said...
on Jun. 3 2009 at 5:02 am
i love this! its so beautiful and true. yeah man. peace, love, and happiness

Nick-M SILVER said...
on Jun. 3 2009 at 3:21 am
Nick-M SILVER, Oak Park, Illinois
9 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:

Very nice. In fact... Thou hast inspired me. I will create a journal.

TalSkylar said...
on Jun. 3 2009 at 1:12 am
TalSkylar, Edina, Minnesota
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
This is amazing! It's a way different style than you see around alot, and its incredible! :)

me said...
on Jun. 2 2009 at 9:34 pm
I liked it, but disagree with the cussing. I think it's a cheap tactic used to convey emotion when there are so many better, more creative ways.

on Jun. 2 2009 at 1:16 pm
This is really good. I like it. It's all true too, it's hard to be considered pretty or beautiful when people think that your different or outdated. And way to stick up for the whales! ;)

on May. 31 2009 at 12:06 am
PalindromeGirl BRONZE, Beverly, Massachusetts
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments
this is from your journal?? wow the writing in my journal is crap. this is a truly amazing piece, i loved it.

jatz318 SILVER said...
on May. 29 2009 at 9:38 pm
jatz318 SILVER, East Brunswick, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 24 comments
It was a good story...but was the profanity needed? Other than that it was full of a raw contagious air. Strong and powerful. The curses crushed it though.

on May. 29 2009 at 12:37 am
Jacqueline SILVER, Dayton, Ohio
7 articles 12 photos 8 comments
This is fantastic, I've been showing it all my friends at school. I'm so glad that the free copy they sent me had your writing in it.

Devo91 BRONZE said...
on May. 27 2009 at 7:37 pm
Devo91 BRONZE, Greentown, Pennsylvania
2 articles 0 photos 2 comments
I think this is really amazing stry i read over and over its just wonderful ]

Nonelly SILVER said...
on May. 26 2009 at 1:38 am
Nonelly SILVER, Providence, Utah
7 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Dude, this piece was seriously excellent. I just got done reading it in the magazine and loved it. Great job!

on May. 23 2009 at 2:30 am
tigeress3 PLATINUM, Dayton, Ohio
35 articles 0 photos 78 comments
Very raw and beautiful, I've had an almost indentical experience with a guy and I know how bad it can be.

on May. 18 2009 at 2:37 pm
Andrew Ketcham BRONZE, Fort Myers, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 6 comments
Cutes-y but you managed to stay away from the sweaty, sticky, emo WAHH I need love factor.

Very well done.

on May. 16 2009 at 9:59 pm
kmpoetgirl7 PLATINUM, Phillips, Wisconsin
27 articles 0 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You must be in control of the authorship of your own destiny. The pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand." Irene C. Kassorla

That was an incredible peice of writing! I absolutely loved it. It was true and pure and full of raw emotion. You have true talent. Keep writing!!

Check out my poems, please!! And comment on what you think.

on May. 16 2009 at 7:20 pm
CarrieAnne11 GOLD, Potsdam, New York
11 articles 0 photos 22 comments
Wow that sounds so much like me in the past 99 days! (Yes it has been 99 days I've been single, i know I'm wierd for counting).Love this story write more!!

Kerri said...
on May. 16 2009 at 6:55 pm
Kerri, East Greenwich, Rhode Island
0 articles 0 photos 17 comments
That was really good! And I'm all for the cheap the whales! :D

on May. 16 2009 at 6:51 pm
xodistantdreamerxo BRONZE, South Jersey, New Jersey
3 articles 1 photo 66 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." -Dr. Seuss



on May. 16 2009 at 5:31 pm
readingredhead33 SILVER, Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
7 articles 7 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
life sucks. then you die.

HA. i like it.