The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth | Teen Ink

The Color Of The Inside Of My Mouth MAG

January 22, 2009
By Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
Bassoonkelley GOLD, Tampa, Florida
15 articles 0 photos 49 comments

I wipe at my stupid eyes with the back of my hand, and it startles me for a second that my tears are gray. I dunno why it surprised me; I mean, I buy the s***ty mascara that’s $1.99 in the 20 Items or Less checkout lane. Why spend oodles of green on something I hardly ever use?

I just wanted to look nice, you know? Like those girls who’re just naturally fake pretty. The girls who can blend shades of eyeshadow like no one’s business, and match their lipstick to the exact color of their toenail polish or whatever. Seemingly effortless, yet impeccably coordinated.

This is good stuff, I should write for a living – solely on the subject of beauty queens with superiority complexes, of course.

I just want … God, what do I want? I want to feel the sun on my face and paint the clouds and hear the music in the trees and love myself and love someone else and just feel perpetually beautiful.

But that requires the $14.99 waterproof, fire-retardant, Grade-5-hurricane-resistant mascara, not the tube that’s two bucks in Lane 4.

My shoes are dirty and outdated, but that’s how I like them. I like these shoes. They’re comfortable. Why do I need new, expensive, fashionably appealing shoes in order for someone to say, “Hey dogg, you look nice today”?

And why is it that whenever I get deathly bored and slather cheap, pore-clogging makeup all over my face everyone suddenly says, “Wow, you look pretty!”? Since when is “pretty” about whale blubber and cocoa butter?

I’ll tell you one thing, though. I most definitely am not crying about some stupid XY.

Definitely not.

I’m crying for all the whales that have to give up their fatty insulation so that some fugly anorexic super bitch can paint herself pretty every freaking day, giving him something halfway decent to oggle all the time.

Seriously, I’m not leaking saltwater over a guy.

I just think it’s cruel and unfair that the fat-endowed marine life population doesn’t even get the slightest warning that they’ll soon be on a cosmetics endcap at K-Mart.

He could have at least broken it to me gently, you know? We’ve been friends since the George Bush/Al Gore debacle.

I mean come the Bette Midler on.

I spill my blood, guts, and viscera out to this guy and he throws down the “Let’s just be friends” card without a second thought?

It’s just … it’s common courtesy to ease someone into heartbreak, not smash it over their head like a whiffleball bat.

You know what? I’m going to take my $1.99 checkout Lane 4 mascara and chuck it right at her big, stupid square head.

The author's comments:
This is literally an excerpt from my journal, so it's a little different when it comes to writing style.

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This article has 476 comments.

on May. 16 2009 at 3:30 pm
SimplyFiction, Arlington, Texas
0 articles 0 photos 5 comments
Really great:)

on May. 16 2009 at 1:42 pm
Xinwen PLATINUM, Brossard, Other
44 articles 0 photos 25 comments
This is very realistic. Could certainly run through someone's head. Wonderfully thought-out and written.

on May. 14 2009 at 2:21 am
LOVE it! I really like the whole shadowing of cause till the end and then breaking it out like that...really great. And ahh if i could afford to not wear makeup life would be paradise :D

on May. 12 2009 at 4:48 pm
booklover28704 SILVER, Arden, North Carolina
7 articles 16 photos 1 comment
that was awesome. wow. i loved how you know you kinda covered up about the guy and then like came out w/ the truth. it was great! so true.

Potater24 said...
on May. 9 2009 at 9:33 pm
I love this story. i don't see why people spend all their money on stuff that just makes them look fake.

on May. 9 2009 at 5:42 am
Wow, that was great! It kind of relates to my recent heartbreak! I love reading literature of this nature, and written so nicely too! Great job and, most definitely, keep writing!

AnneW SILVER said...
on May. 9 2009 at 3:13 am
AnneW SILVER, Santa Clara, California
8 articles 1 photo 20 comments
I really love the way you wrote this. At first I thought it was just another story about girls who are affected by the media. The way you transitioned into the boy who broke your heart was brilliant! Love it!

on May. 8 2009 at 2:50 am
This is really good I wish more girls were like that. Girls should'nt have to wear tons of makeup and expensive clothing just get compliments and attention.

mmfdg623 GOLD said...
on May. 3 2009 at 8:27 pm
mmfdg623 GOLD, Lyndhurst, New Jersey
15 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
Louisa May Alcott

I love it. The story is amazing.

JessC SILVER said...
on May. 2 2009 at 12:46 am
JessC SILVER, Waterloo, Other
7 articles 6 photos 27 comments
wow. amazing. so realistic. keep writing, ur really good at it.

JessB46 SILVER said...
on May. 1 2009 at 12:43 am
JessB46 SILVER, Lake Placid, New York
7 articles 0 photos 2 comments
I really, really like this! It's so realistically and modernly written. I like cheap mascara too.

megan39 BRONZE said...
on Apr. 29 2009 at 3:32 pm
megan39 BRONZE, Bohemia, New York
4 articles 0 photos 19 comments
AMAZING!!!!!!!! this was so good, and really pasionate

on Apr. 28 2009 at 10:54 pm
CaptainJenieve BRONZE, Ravenna, Ohio
4 articles 2 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A little faith and a strong firm hand can get you a long way."

Oh man. :)

I wish we had a girl like you at our school.

Too many girls parade around with their fake tans, fake nails, and pounds of makeup on.


on Apr. 26 2009 at 10:43 pm
allyssa stevenson, Monee, Illinois
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments
wow..... love it ! i mean the whole consept is just great and the use of cuss words in this story just gives it a realistic quality.

Chrissy_L GOLD said...
on Apr. 24 2009 at 8:37 pm
Chrissy_L GOLD, Ramsey, New Jersey
13 articles 0 photos 66 comments

Favorite Quote:
An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.

This is astonishing, and so rawly true.

on Apr. 24 2009 at 1:03 am
biggerinfinities SILVER, Superior, Colorado
7 articles 0 photos 353 comments

Favorite Quote:
“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

wow.... that really is exceptional.. i totally love it,... keep writing