“It doesn’t count if you are already planning your defeat.”

But she was scared. 

“No, I am not doing this. I accept I cannot do this” her eyes were about to burst. The air felt too cold that day and she could feel the goosebumps. 

“Just try once, everything is going to be just fine.”

“No”

“Then why did you come here?”

“Because..” she could not complete her words. Her tongue froze. 

“You came here because you wanted to try, you wanted to do this.”

“But this is scary.” she realized she was screaming. 

“I am here, nothing is scary.”

But she did not answer, the sight was too terrifying. It looked lovely but as soon as she came near it panic surged inside her just like a bird who looks beyond its nest. The sky looks beautiful in the shades of the sunset but then it looks big and bitter as you approach. 

“Tomorrow I promise.” she was pleading, the air felt colder.

“No, today. You have to gather courage. Please.” 

She looked at the vast expanse of the blue water beneath her. It was flawless, clean and pretty. Two children were putting up a race with one another on the opposite stretches and the water splashed across her face. She remembered the day she had seen the ocean for the first time. As she ran through the path with sand covered feet on the beach, the sun shining back she saw a similar expanse of water but way bigger and darker. Its currents were strong and the water was colder. As she stood near the shore and high tide coming up to her ankles, the coolness had taken all the sense out from her. That water as it rushed across her toes and beneath her soles, she felt alive again. It was so calm and yet so strong and beautiful. The dark blue chilling water pleading to go inside her pores. It felt so beautiful and it would had been more only if she knew how to swim.

She was again shook back into reality as more water splashed across her face.

“Fast” the voice commanded. 

She took a long breath. 

Yes, I wanted to do it.”

She recited one of the poems she had seen hanging on the walls of the farmhouse just a few meters away from the beach. 

The most beautiful feeling awaits for you:

“The waster flows

Your spine chilled, eyes drowned

The deep blue-black ocean.”

She wanted to learn it, even how horrible and terrifying it was. Closing her eyes clenching her fists she whispered. 

If those steps scare you and then plunge right in and that is what she did. She lifted her feet and with full force jumped inside the water. The water was not deep, she could stand in that. As she dived in the water pushed her up and beat her against her body. It was not as strong as the ocean but was energizing. She could hear her father shouting. 

Well done and now we will learn to float. 

The water felt welcoming to her and warmer than the air. She was happy. She felt courageous. 

'I did it. I did not give up. It doesn’t count if you are already planning your defeat" and then flapping her eight year old hands happily in water she smiled like a little bird when it soars up in the sky.