You promised that you would return. You promised Safiya that we would celebrate her fifth birthday together, as a family. You promised me that I would be able to hold you in my arms once again. Then why am I holding these flowers instead of you? Why am I hugging our daughter as she calls for you? Why did you leave us to live in a world without you?

      I remember when I first met you. I had heard tales of the fearless and legendary air force pilot, Alia Khan, who had graduated at the top of her class and was a force to be reckoned with. However, none of these stories could have prepared me for the moment when I first laid my eyes upon you. You were beautiful, witty and intelligent, always fighting for what you believed in and never backing down to anyone. During our first assignment together, I realised that alongside that strong-willed and courageous woman, also existed another entity, a woman who dreamed of raising a family of her own. I vowed to myself that I would be the one to give you that and you made me, Anwar Malik, the happiest man alive, when you agreed to marry me. We both knew that it would be difficult, that at times our duty to our country would take precedence over our responsibility to each other, but we were willing to make that sacrifice. After our marriage, we were soon gifted with the greatest blessing, our daughter Safiya and I never believed that life could be more perfect. How easy is it to forget the difficulties in our life when we are content, yet fate always has a way to remind us. 

       I had once been a soldier in the Pakistan Army, however a fatal leg injury had caused my early retirement. This was perhaps a blessing in disguise for now I was no longer exposed at the frontlines. However, you did not have the same choice, and were often called away for assignments. Each time we said goodbye, we both knew that this could be our last, yet each time I remained confident that you would return to us,until you were given your latest and unbeknownst to us your last assignment. It was a simple task to transport cargo to our ally country, but you had to cross over into India’s airspace. Pakistan and India’s relationship had been deteriorating in the past few months, and our air force had been instructed to shoot any Indian fighter jet on sight. No doubt similar guidelines had been given to India’s air force, making this assignment more dangerous and high-risk than any you had been involved in before. I begged you to refuse, to resign from the air-force entirely, saying that we would take up alternative employment and live peacefully. Yet you were resolute, and so I went to your superiors, pleading with them to send anyone else on the assignment, someone who did not have a family waiting for them, praying for them to return home. Yet those heartless creatures who knew perfectly well that they were sending you to your execution, denied my requests, saying that you were the only one skilled enough for the task. I remember our last argument, where I held Safiya in front of you and asked you that if not for me, then at least for your daughter, reconsider, so she can grow up knowing the care and love  of a mother. 

Your reply will forever haunt me as you said,” My daughter may not know me physically as she grows up, but she will know my love for her, that I died so that she can live in a country that is safe and peaceful. Promise me that you will raise her to be a strong and independent woman who will always put the needs of the greater good above her own.”

I realised that nothing I could say would make you change your mind, and so the only thing I could do was pray for your safe and speedy return. Before leaving you promised me and Safiya that we would soon be reunited, and although I felt myself breaking inside at the possibility that this might not happen, I continued to give Safiya the same hope. Yet all the facade vanished when we got that fatal phone call,saying that your aircraft had been shot down and your body was being brought back to Pakistan. I remember holding Safiya close, telling her that you have gone to a much better place and that you will always be with us in our hearts.

   While I remained strong for Safiya, behind closed doors, I was an emotional wreck. I felt bitterly angry that fate had dealt us such a cruel hand by giving us only seven years together, and at the fact that you broke your promise by never returning to us. Yet I remembered the promise that I made to you and I have every intention of honouring it. I will raise our daughter to be as noble and brave as her mother, and I hope that you will be proud as you watch her from above, as I know you will be.