Sorry Lucy

I'm sorry, Lucy...

I wish I could take everything back, so I wouldn't feel like this. This horrible, gut wrenching guilt. I told you I would always be there, protecting you, loving you. But then I let you slip through my fingers, and now you are gone forever.

I wish I could see your eyes, as blue as the sky, the ocean. I would give anything to hear your laugh, see your smile. But I can't.

Because I let you die.

Please forgive me, Lucy. Because I can't forgive myself.

I will never forget your name, Lucy, or your whole self. You will always be in my heart. I will never let you out.

I will see you again, I promise. As soon as possible, you will be in my arms. We will be together again, just like always.

I'm sorry I let you die, Lucy. I'm sorry I didn't protect you like I promised I would. I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry.

So sorry.

Now I can't even look at your pictures. I'll start crying if I do. If I see your smile, your eyes, I'll break out into tears, Lucy. Because you were my life.

And my life is gone, now. I might as well be dead. There's one problem, though.

If I was really dead, I would be with you.

But I'm not. That's why I cry every time I see your face in a picture. Because your not really there.

All I can think about is the last time I saw you. The night before you died. Before your life had been ripped out of your fragile body. Before we both lost our lives.

You had smiled at me and told me that you loved me, and that you would be with me forever. You had promised, and I had promised, too.

But then I broke my promise.

I remember running to the scene, seeing you pale on the wet ground. I saw it before anyone else. You looked like you were sleeping, peaceful and beautiful. But when I saw you bleeding, and didn't feel your warm heart beating, I knew that you were not sleeping.

You were dead.

I remember crying, and holding you to me. I yelled your name, but you didn't wake up. I knew you wouldn't, but I had to try. I still couldn't believe it.

Now I'm at your grave, placing the last of 12 roses onto your grave, crying as I do it. I see your face flash in my mind, sending more tears to my eyes and more hits to my heart.

It must be shattered by now. Or, with any luck, maybe it will just stop beating.

I get on my knees and before I know it, I'm on my back, next to your grave. I take your picture out of my pocket and star at it, letting the tears fall down my face.

Then I close my eyes and will a small smile to my lips.

I'm coming, Lucy. I think, the smile widening. I'm coming.

Then, next to your grave, Lucy, I die of a broken heart.

~The End~