All these years, waiting, keeping myself pure and for what? This? Just one second and it was ruined, ruined. I never thought I would or could. Not before I married. All this, just destroyed because of greed and lust. No, I won’t believe it. I refuse to. No ! No ! It is a week after my 18th birthday and I am no longer pure, chaste, whatever you want to call it. All because I dated the wrong guy, I still can’t believe it happened. Anyhow well I went to a so-called birthday party my “boyfriend” invited me to. It was crazy, apparently his idea of a party is a group of drunk guys raping a defenseless now “adult” girl. Basically I was raped by five guys and now I am just a sick, used, old corpse stripped of any dignity I once had. Don’t tell me I’m not to blame so many people told me that he was trouble and I didn’t listen. Oh why didn’t I listen, why? Why? Oh this pain. Sure I’m physically hurting but it is so much more than that. It tears at my insides, rips me open. Why God? Why me? To make you stronger, my daughter. Why God, why this? I love you. I know... I know you do. Oh God I love you, too. You are my one and only. Help me to live. Help me through this trial, please. I will , I Am. Hi, I’m May Julius and I wanted to share my past with you to help you understand God’s unfailing love for you. It does not matter what you go through, God is with you and loves you. I am now a married mother of three beautiful girls and my past well, that is exactly what it is my past. It happened and I’m stronger for it. I’m not saying it was easy, it was hard, real hard but God helped me so much on those days I wasn’t sure I could make one more second. My old “boyfriend” well, he was never punished for what he did. He disappeared with his friends. I just wish I could have told him more about God and Jesus.














~May Julius~