Sally Samantha Smithers walked into her house, carrying the mail, a backpack, and a heart full of love (in her chest. she carried the heart in her chest. don't get excited). She set the mail down on her kitchen table, absentmindedly stroking the letters that her father carved into it when he was a child. Beauragard Polstack. A beautiful name. But alas, her father was dead. He died from lupus when he was 39. A tear fell from her right eye as she put down her backpack and turned to the mail. Bill. Bill. URGENT catalogue subscription renewal for a subscription expiring in 10 years. Bill. Catalogue for tools that a gravedigger used that had been sent to the wrong house. Old Christmas card (it was March). Envelope. An envelope from a girl, Pepina, that went to her community college! Some nice mail!

With excitement, Sally opened the envelope and pulled out the neon pink card. Sally ripped open the card, without even bothering to see what the front said. This turned out to be a mistake. As her trembling fingers (she'd had a lot of coffee that day) navigated the ruffles and opened the card, Sally knew something was wrong. The card felt slightly heavy. She tried to stop her hands, but it was too late! She opened the card and screamed as if she were a child who'd just seen his/her teddy bear set ablaze. The card fell from her hand, scattering a shower of neon pink and purple and green glitter. It was emblazoned with the words "Candle Party! Jewelry Party! Let your friend suck you for money Party!" The glitter fell into the indentation of the the name her father had carved into the table. Sally sank to the floor. It was at least an hour before Sally reconciled herself to the fact that she had to get a broom and clean up the glitter, even though her kitchen would never be glitter free again.