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T'mare

August 22, 2010
By Bigbirdocho SILVER, Kent, Connecticut
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Bigbirdocho SILVER, Kent, Connecticut
9 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
yea

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I'm in a trance,
You're only a vision to me.
Your soul fusing with mine,
Negativity, positiveness, happy, sadness run through my mind 24/7.
My body can't slow down; demons will resurface; they will get to me once again,
Take me over and tear my flesh by each muscle strain in my body.
Nothing will ever be the same,
Demons eat my flesh, drink my blood like it is the last dinner, but Jesus ain't guiding them.
Woken up from my own screams, screaming for someone to end my suffering;
Bruises, scratches are just a few of the thing you have left on my body...

© Gretchen L., Edina, MN

The author's comments:
I like how it all came together at the end. When i write it's like i don't know how to end the piece until the final second
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This article has 32 comments.

turtlehurtle SILVER said...
on Sep. 19 2012 at 5:39 pm
turtlehurtle SILVER, Tallahassee, Florida
7 articles 0 photos 3 comments
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i really liked this...do you think you could take a look at some of my work...i need some comments on it...i need to know how im doing...please and thank you.
Patchiz ;) said...
on Aug. 6 2012 at 8:03 pm
Loved the choice of words
CrazyNerdyFangirl SILVER said...
on Apr. 18 2012 at 9:18 pm
CrazyNerdyFangirl SILVER, Sugar Land, Texas
6 articles 0 photos 10 comments
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Love the description and word choice in this. :D
Lindsey31 GOLD said...
on Mar. 27 2012 at 3:59 pm
Lindsey31 GOLD, Rockford, Minnesota
11 articles 11 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
LIVE life ~ LAUGH always ~ LOVE lots

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This is super cool! If you'd like to read an awesome romance, action-adventure or novels, check out my page! Feel free to comment, rate and evaluate! Thanks!
hobo12321 PLATINUM said...
on Oct. 3 2011 at 9:46 am
hobo12321 PLATINUM, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
20 articles 11 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
none, there's too many, although the one about the grapefruit is good. Any by Douglas Adams

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Wow! i know lots of people have told you that this is a poem, but it's still amazing!
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 29 2011 at 10:04 am
Tongue_Blep PLATINUM, ????, Ohio
40 articles 1 photo 769 comments
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Nice story! keep writing!if anyone could go check out and post comments on my new article time, not space. That would be great! :) just click my user name! :)(:
. said...
on Jul. 29 2011 at 7:46 am
Nice story!  Please check out mine, Sean Flynn, if you get the chance.  Thanks! 
inkers GOLD said...
on Jun. 25 2011 at 1:07 am
inkers GOLD, Midland, Texas
10 articles 0 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And the lamplight gloating o'er him threw his shadow on the floor... and my soul from out that shadow... shall be lifted, nevermore!" - Poe

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I don't think this belongs in this category.
However, it was very good, and easy to visualize.
kagebrubak GOLD said...
on Jun. 15 2011 at 9:36 pm
kagebrubak GOLD, Sidney, Ohio
15 articles 1 photo 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;As you get closer to the light, the greater your shadow becomes.&quot;<br /> &quot;Never fear shadows. They simply mean there&#039;s a light shining somewhere nearby.&quot;<br /> &quot;The best way to become boring is to say everything.&quot;<br /> &quot;Forget arrogance, just ask and recieve&quot;

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The description was very good, but the story needed more too it otherwise it's more of a poem
__horizon133 PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 15 2011 at 11:55 am
__horizon133 PLATINUM, Portage, Michigan
26 articles 0 photos 231 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;laugh, and the world laughs with you. laugh hysterically, and for no apparent reason, and they will leave you alone.&quot; anonymous

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yikes! i love how you cram so much description and feeling into something like ten sentences!
Kidicarus505 BRONZE said...
on May. 2 2011 at 12:25 pm
Kidicarus505 BRONZE, Cochranville, Pennsylvania
1 article 0 photos 1 comment
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This is a very descriptive piece, and I am amazed at the level of emotion and depth you have shown in your writing.  Good job!
Fallenbunnybubu BRONZE said...
on Apr. 10 2011 at 1:36 pm
Fallenbunnybubu BRONZE, Clovis, California
1 article 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
I put my heart and soul into my work,<br /> <br /> and have lost my mind in the process.<br /> <br /> --Vincent Van Gogh

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WOW! This is a very good aritcle. I enjoyed reading it. It has so much emotion and depth. I really loved this idea.

Hey....could you check out my story Dead on? Thanxx alot!

-Chanelle:D

Alia_Tan GOLD said...
on Jan. 12 2011 at 8:10 pm
Alia_Tan GOLD, Elk Grove, California
15 articles 0 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I gotta right to sing the blues/<br /> gotta right to moan and sigh/<br /> I gotta right to sit and cry&quot; From &quot;I gotta right to sing the blues&quot; By Louis Armstrong

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this is amazing! it has mystery that makes you chilled to the bone but captivates the reader's attention! Great job keep it up!
BellelaVie SILVER said...
on Jan. 12 2011 at 7:58 pm
BellelaVie SILVER, Fairbanks, Alaska
6 articles 5 photos 35 comments
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Thanks! I think that writing is always a process, it is never finnished. Plus, we all write for ourselves, and it shouldn't matter what other people think. But I think that this peice is great anyway :) just in the process ;)
WritingLoverForever PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 12 2011 at 8:30 am
WritingLoverForever PLATINUM, Bowling Green, Ohio
32 articles 2 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
It&#039;s not about success; it&#039;s about significance.<br /> <br /> No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

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I totally agree. I couldn't have said it better myself. :)
BellelaVie SILVER said...
on Jan. 3 2011 at 3:34 pm
BellelaVie SILVER, Fairbanks, Alaska
6 articles 5 photos 35 comments
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Actually, I liked it. Does it really matter what catagory it is in? no! Writing is always a process, a peice is never finnished. I thing this peice has a lot of potential. It has promise, and a story behind it that makes us want to know where these demons came from and such. Just keep widdling at it, it has a lot of potential!
Gracious PLATINUM said...
on Dec. 22 2010 at 2:49 pm
Gracious PLATINUM, Go Away, Kansas
22 articles 0 photos 66 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;life sucks and then you die, yeah, i should be so lucky&quot;<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> -Jacob, Twilight<br /> <br /> I&rsquo;m still that girl who falls when she runs, Getting back up, because falling is fun.

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I love parts of it, and the theme is excellents. but when you use the same word too many times it takes away from the piece (for example: demons) and some of the grammer doesnt make sense. like you say happy and sadness together. it should be happy and sad, or happiness and sadness
Citygirl said...
on Dec. 22 2010 at 11:58 am
That was really amazing. Visual and vibrant. Great work.
Eer320 PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 29 2010 at 6:55 pm
Eer320 PLATINUM, S. China, Maine
20 articles 4 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you&#039;re really looking for are the 64-color boxes with the sharpeners on the back. I fancy myself to be a 64-color box, though I&#039;ve got a few missing. It&#039;s ok though, because I&#039;ve got some more vibrant colors like periwinkle at my disposal. I have a bit of a problem though in that I can only meet the 8-color boxes. Does anyone else have that problem? I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation.. so when I meet someone who&#039;s an 8-color type.. I&#039;m like, hey girl, magenta! and she&#039;s like, oh, you mean purple! and she goes off on her purple thing, and I&#039;m like, no - I want magenta!&quot;

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This was good, but I think it is more of a free verse poem.  But nice job.
nefariouslyme said...
on Nov. 29 2010 at 12:20 pm
nefariouslyme, Richland, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 72 comments
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Yeah, I've seen quite a few pieces that are written like this, as if they belong more in poetry.