The October Sky & Brain Probing | Teen Ink

The October Sky & Brain Probing

June 17, 2011
By Odessa_Sterling00 DIAMOND, No, Missouri
Odessa_Sterling00 DIAMOND, No, Missouri
87 articles 108 photos 966 comments

Favorite Quote:
All gave some, some gave all. -War Veterans headstone.

Her long sleeve orange shirt fit her perfectly, complimenting her curves wonderfully. Her skinny gray-blue jeans looked great with her tan Uggs. Her brown hair flowed down just above mid-back, it’s dark brown and shiny caramel highlights made it shine in the sun, but this was October, and the sun was covered by thick clouds threatening to rain, maybe even snow.

Amanda stood at the bus stop, her cold fingers moving with lightening quickness as she texted her boyfriend about how cold she was and how she wished he was with her. She smiled as the clicked sent and glanced around. Her neighbor, Seth, was walking towards her and she looked away, uninterested. Seth was tall, lanky, with no visible muscles like her current boyfriend. His brown hair was plain and hung in his face a little. He didn’t speak much, but when he did, he always made her laugh.

Now you may be thinking, this is a love story where the popular girl falls for the nerd, but it’s not. Amanda’s reputation was far to important to her, even if feelings did come up for the boy, she would kill them, bury them alive and forget them. She only dated people who would help, whether they were good for her or not. Seth knew this.

They stood in silence, except for the occasional beeping of Amanda’s phone with a text message from her boyfriend. The bus pulled around the corner nosily and they both edged towards the curb, ready to get out of the chilly morning air. Amanda stood in front of Seth, attitude of importance radiating from her, like always. She acted better than Seth, like she was a hundred dollar bill and he was a grimy penny. Seth felt angry, mad that he was always lower than he thought he should be and the bus roared closer. Amanda tapped her perfect foot impatiently and the tapping sliced through Seth’s skull, probing his brain painfully. The bus was almost to them now, and he noticed it was the middle school bus, not theirs. It would drive right past them and he started to shake. Soon it was just 10 feet away and Seth’s hand shot out, shoving Amanda forward into the road, where she fell, her phone skidding across the asphalt to the other side of the street. The scream and the sickening sound of bones snapping soothed Seth’s headache. He turned and walked down the street towards the high school.

“I’ll walk today,” he smiled and looked up at the gray October sky.

The author's comments:
Really short, but I hope you like it. Thanks for reading and please comment.

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This article has 2 comments.

on Jul. 5 2011 at 2:36 pm
Odessa_Sterling00 DIAMOND, No, Missouri
87 articles 108 photos 966 comments

Favorite Quote:
All gave some, some gave all. -War Veterans headstone.

See I wanted it to be able to be debated who was really to be hated, so by leaving it right in the middle, you could take either persons side.

on Jul. 5 2011 at 12:26 pm
AndRachelLovesyou SILVER, Stone Mountain, Georgia
5 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering.
-Winnie The Pooh

Oooh saw that coming. It certanly got me interested, but I think maybe you should build up the anger a more. Maybe have them speak or something. Make the reader hate the girl and show why Seth is so angry.