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The Curious Question of Annoying Children
Yesterday, as I strolled down the dried foods aisle of a local supermarket, I heard a strange and frightening noise- the sound of a young child not getting his way. As I drew nearer, the shrieking intensified. Upon reaching the end of the aisle, I saw the reason for the commotion- a boy of about two or three years old had spotted a bin of chocolate candies and wanted a taste. His mother, instead of simply telling him no, had tried to reason with him.
I saw that things could not end well. The child, having wedged his feet under the lip of the shelf near the floor, showed no signs of letting go of the lid of the candy bin. The mother, who by now was nearly sitting on top of the lid, showed no signs of letting the child have his way. The air began to fill with the stench of sweat from the struggle. I turned away my head to continue my shopping.
“We can’t afford this candy right now,” I heard the mother say as I continued my search for dried pineapples. “Maybe I can get you something at the check out.”
She sounded absolutely exhausted. The grimace on the child’s face would have scarred a battle hardened soldier. Besides making my skin crawl, it told me that things would only get worse when they went home. My friends, is this the kind of world we want to live in? Bowing to the will of those that would annoy us to our deaths? I think not. Hence, I continue to advocate the implementation of the Annoyance Removal Agency (ARA), under the leadership of the illustrious and accredited Joshua McAwesome, to defend and protect our future from those who would mar it with further annoyance.
With all due respect and honesty,
Archibald Phineas Crane
Aristocrat,
Internet Blogger,
People Advocating Annoyance Reduction (PAAR)
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This article has 57 comments.
What? Dried pineapples are awesome!
(Slips into British Aristocrat mode) But of course, one can only go so long without snacks preserved in sucha manner. Pineapples are among the grandest fruits ever to be dried.
