Once upon a time a poor girl named Cinderella… Wait a second, scratch that. This isn’t your typical la-de-da-de-da fairytale where the poor damsel in distress is saved by the most charming of princes and they fall in love. In fact in this story, Ms. Perfect isn’t so lucky in finding her true love. Welcome to the twenty first century people; let’s start this story out right...
Once upon a time, not so long ago, a girl named Cinderella was born. At the time both of her parents were still living and everything was perfect. Truly, little Cinderella got everything and anything she asked for—how could someone not love this life? Eventually as Cinderella got older and started going to school, the kids in her class learned not to like her. Actually, no one did because she was a spoiled brat. Cinderella didn’t care though because her parents could buy her friends if she was that desperate. Throughout high school, Cinderella tried to fit into the popular crowd. She wanted to be accepted but all of the other kids couldn’t accept the fact that she was spoiled rotten and that Cinderella took everything for granted. By senior year Cinderella was ready to move on and do what she wanted with her life—spend more money.
Cinderella continued to grow up and at the age of twenty had done everything from traveling all across the world, to owning several successful shoe stores. (Her specialty was creating exclusive shoes—such as the glass slipper.) One day Cinderella received a phone call that her parents were in the hospital after a terrible car crash. She rushed to the hospital and waited and waited until she could be told any information. After waiting for seven hours, Cinderella received the most devastating news imaginable: her parents had passed away.
Immediately Cinderella panicked because her parents were the ones who paid for whatever Cinderella wanted—how was she going to keep buying everything her heart desired?! Cinderella went home that evening thinking of ways she could continue to get everything that she wanted. Eventually she went to bed dreaming of the good old days when she was spending money left and right.
The next morning Cinderella awoke to her phone ringing crazily on the stand next to her. Talking to her financial adviser for over an hour, Cinderella sank to the floor sobbing into her hands. She had just lost all of her shoe stores. Not even twenty four hours after her parents had died and her all of her funds had been cut. She wondered what was going to happen next.
“If only I could find someone to take care of me,” she thought.
That’s when an idea formed in her head. “If I had a husband, he could work and do everything for me!” Cinderella hopped up and ran to get ready. “But wait,” she thought. “Where am I going to find a husband?”
Cinderella sat in her living room and sighed in frustration. She soon turned on the TV and was about to leave them room when a commercial for an online dating website came on. Cinderella flew to the TV and got all of the information that she needed and went to log on.
“Wow, that was convenient,” she said to herself.
When Cinderella put in her personal information, she waited for matches to appear. After what seemed like hours, one match popped up—and his name was Prince.
Cinderella excitedly clicked on his name and read all of the information provided. What really caught her eye were his interests: “I like to spend money on whoever I’m with, whether that is my family, or a girlfriend.”
As soon as she read this, Cinderella was hooked. She quickly dialed his number and after speaking with him for a short while, set up a time and place for a date. Cinderella felt like she was in a dream, as if her poor life was quickly going to turn around like it was before.
On the night of her date, Cinderella made sure to dress up nicely. She put her hair up, wore a light blue dress, and even wore her specialty glass slippers. Once she was ready, she headed out the door into the waiting cab where the driver drove her to a little café called, Midnight Bliss. Though Cinderella was a little early, she spotted what appeared to be the back of the man that looked like Prince’s profile picture. While she made her way over, the man turned around revealing one of the ugliest men Cinderella had ever seen.
“Oh!” Cinderella gasped. “Excuse me, but I think I’ve got the wrong person.”
“Aren’t you Cinderella? I’m Prince,” the man greeted, stepping forward to kiss her hand.
Cinderella didn’t know what to do. In fact, she thought she was going to have a breakdown if this man didn’t get away from her at this very moment.
“Well uh,” Cinderella stuttered. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“The same to you. Why don’t we have a seat and get to know each other?” Prince suggested.
The two sat down and Cinderella mentally slapped herself for doing this. What was wrong with her? She didn’t want to hurt the poor man’s feelings; she obviously needed to spare him this because of his hideous looks. But Cinderella couldn’t let this go on any longer. When she was thinking, she realized that if Prince wasn’t with her, he wouldn’t buy her things. And if he didn’t buy her things, Cinderella would be even more miserable.
“Cinderella? Are you alright?” The sound of Prince’s voice snapped her back into reality.
“Oh my! I’m sorry. I guess I was daydreaming for a bit,” Cinderella replied.
“That’s quite alright,” Prince said. “And might I add that you look ravishing tonight.”
“Will you excuse me for a moment?” Cinderella didn’t wait for a reply. Instead she quickly stood up and regretting what she was about to do, looked back once. But poor, poor, poor Cinderella. The moment she looked back, she tripped over chair and one of her shoes went flying through the air, landing in Prince’s lap.
“This would only happen to me,” Cinderella groaned as she got up and ran out the door.
“Cinderella! Cinderella wait! Your shoe! Where are you going?” Prince yelled, but Cinderella just kept going.
As soon as the coast was clear, Cinderella stopped running and sat down on a park bench, lost in thought. “I guess this online dating phenomenon was a bad idea after all,” she sighed. And with that, Cinderella stood up and walked back towards home.

The End
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold your horses now, you mean to tell me that Cinderella didn’t fall in love and live happily ever after? Many of you are probably thinking this, but I told you in the beginning that this wasn’t your typical fairytale. If you really want to know what happens to Cinderella in the very end, she ends up marrying a coachman who transports rich people to and from ball. And let’s just say that Cinderella isn’t living a life full of joy and spending’s…