As I'm drying my body with this hot wash cloth, I feel a bruise beneath my collar bone. I look at my reflection in the mirror and take a deep breath. I hear him snoring so I quickly shuffle through the drawer to find a jacket. I started to zip up my jacket when I felt this rush of adrenaline. I glanced up at the mirror and there he was, staring right at me. He sat up with his right hand against his forehead.

“I'm sorry, I love you so much and I can't... I'll go to counseling. Just don't leave me, okay? I'm going to get help.” His eyes filled with sorrow, my heart hollow.
“I can't do this anymore.”
Tears were cascading down his face. I took a step towards my keys.
“You want to leave me? Do you want to leave me?” He said as he chuckled.
He walks towards the balcony and slams the doors open.
“There's only one way you're leaving.”
He grabs me by the waist and pulls me towards the doors.
“Okay! I'll stay! I'll stay...”
All I can feel is my heart pumping. He starts to pull my body closer, hugs me tight, and rests my head against his shoulder.

“Baby, it's going to be okay. I'm not going anywhere.”

As soon as I know it, it was time to get up for school. It's the first day of senior year, this is where the fun is supposed to begin. How did I end up in a relationship like this? As I'm fast walking down the halls of Pleasant Valley, attempting to avoid Lucas at all costs. I feel someone trying to grab my hand, it was him. I can instantly feel the amount of eyes on me, the hate they feel for him and the stupidity they feel for me. Lucas is the kind of kid that isolates himself from the rest of the kids at school. He was different. I needed different after the summer I had.

Last month after Logan had broken up with me, I went on a little drive. Nowhere far, I just needed to get away for a little while. I had taken eight or nine shots of Vodka, it was my way to escape from the pain. I was driving on the road to freedom. The car was in my control and my mind was at ease. Then I realized a man was crossing the street. I killed him. I saw a car coming my way so I panicked and drove away. The next week, Lucas was featured on every news channel and even on the school news. They did a memorial for him at school. I felt my upper body spasming as I heard him reminisce about childhood memories with his uncle. I could hear soft whimpering sounds and feel my face glistening with freshly shed tears. I couldn't bare it any longer so I walked away. Lucas ran after me and asked if he could vent to me. I felt guilty enough as it was, so I stayed with him. From there, we've been nothing less of lovebirds.
There had been rumors about Lucas selling illegal drugs. I never believed any of it because to me, he looked innocent. He was just a regular kid. Blair was the most popular girl at school, as well as one of my good friends. She had recently gotten out of Rehab. Once she found out we were dating, she told me she used to buy from him. I couldn't be with Lucas after that. I told him it was best if we broke up, but he threatened to call the cops on me. He saw how much the ceremony affected me. He went after me to make sure I went through Hell. But he had no idea he'd fall in love with me.

I could feel my stomach cramp up in class. The only thing on my mind was this baby. I didn’t tell Lucas because if he knew, he’d only put me through more chaos. He’d call me ruthless, stupid, and selfish. Lunch didn’t sound appealing; my appetite was out of sight and out of mind. My stomach began to cramp up, the pain was intolerable and you could see it all over my face. I drove myself to the doctor’s and my only wish was for this baby to be okay. But everything was not okay, I lost it.

I hear the door slam shut, Lucas is home. I told him I needed to talk but he neglected me.
“I had a long day at work.”
“No, we need to talk now.”
He took a seat and rolled his eyes.
“I was pregnant.”
His mouth dropped and his eyes were as big as it gets.
“Was?”
“I went to the doctor’s today and they said it was lost due to physical aspects.”
“You didn’t tell them I…”
“I told them I fell down the stairs.”
He gave me the biggest hug in the world. I felt loved, wanted, and stronger than ever. It was all romantic but eventually turned into a complete nightmare. He slapped my ears so hard that they started to ring; I couldn't even hear out of them.
Good-for-nothing. Impractical. Worthless. Foolish. Ignorant. Numbskull. Pointless.
After physically and emotionally draining me, he starts to mumble.
I’m sorry baby, I love you. I will never do it again.”

This man and I had a bond that I thought was irreplaceable. I couldn’t help but stay with him in hopes he would return to his old ways, to the man I fell in love with in the first place. I put up with it for more and more days, that ended up feeling like a lifetime.

Mom always liked Lucas, but she was always evil towards me. My sister and I are best friends; I don't know how I'd function without her. But she doesn't know what mom did to me, it was time she knew the whole truth. I looked at Haley and took a deep breath. “Do you remember all the times mom took you out and said I had things to do with dad? One day I heard them arguing. Mom grabbed me and gave me a bath. She put on a little blush, a little eyeliner, and even some of her favorite perfume. It was the most sophisticated and mature scent I've ever smelt. Then she let dad in, he raped me. She didn't want the family to suffer, so I was her best option. Haley told me I needed to get out of my relationship with Lucas as soon as possible. I'm repeating my mother’s mistakes but I don't have the courage to step up to him. I never thought it was Lucas, mom, or dad. I thought it was me not doing what I was asked. Something had to be done.
Each wall carefully designed to hold one back from the freedom I longed for. A small cell with barred doors. A small metallic frame with a worn out mattress and thin blankets to build my sleeping area. In the corner of this small inhumane cell was my toilet bowl, dirty and overused. Privacy was non-existent here. This was my new home. A place where I felt stress-free. An officer opened my door and told me I had a visitor. I asked God to give me a helping hand, to let me out of this cycle that seemed to be endless. This staged life that I had no control over to be shattered. I saw a woman dressed in a black blazer and black slacks, almost like church attire. It was my mother. She started to tear up. I knew that this was the turning point in our relationship. She uncrossed her arms and gestured me to go towards her. That was the welcoming back into her heart, the opening into a whole new world. A world full of the motherly love that I’ve missed.