I really hate hospitals, no matter how nice the look was that the nurses gave, nice walls, and nice rooms, you can’t seem to wash out the stink of death. I don’t think its the death that bothers me, people die all the time in beds, in alleyways, in wars, and in closets when they hang themselves for too long while masturbating. I think the annoying part is the walls here have heard more prayers than churchers and it still seems like all hope and life were sucked out of the place. Which isn’t fair since nobody masturbated in the closests here. I don’t know why I showed up  here in the first place, She never liked me in the first place but I still had to show up. Thats the odd thing about death, the minute someone starts dying all the rules change. You  have to talk quietly and sound sollem all the time, You can’t bring up that said person still owes you 5 bucks and you don’t if that an appropriate amount of money to ask for in the will. Anyways we were still here  in the nice room, with the nice walls, and the nice nurses. and gathered around the bed watching her sleep. Which is really boring by the way I don’t know why we have to watch her sleep, she pretty much gonna look the same way when she’s dead. But it another odd rule of death we have to follow, that way if she dies her sleep we  can say “I watched her die in her sleep but not exactly  when she died since i was  checking a text on my phone.” at their funeral and of course you would have to edit it to take out  texting part so you don’t sound like a total asshole. Anyways we watched her sleep and said solemn things in the nice room with the nice walls and the nice nurses. It was getting late and  some of us wanted to go home, The issue was one of us had to stay with her. It was another  weird rule of dying somebody would have to stay with the dying person  to make sure they’re still dying or something or maybe you have to make sure they aren’t dying at the right speed. Anyways I don’t know why I said I’d stay  but  I did. I never liked her and she never  liked me. But I said i’d stay make sure she’s still  dying. I wasn’t expecting  some big emotional forgiveness or release that fixed all the problems  between us. She slept and  was dying  and I sat  there watching her in the nice room with the nice walls and the nice nurses. Wondering if i’ll ever get my five dollars back.  One of the rules of dying states that you need to say sorry,  sorry for anything  you did that wronged the person. 

I really didn’t want to, I couldn’t think of anything i wanted to say sorry for and she was busy sleeping and or dying  and I don’t think apologizing for  losing the dog when I was 10 is worth bringing up now. I watched, sat, smoked my pall malls and talked to the nice nurses. They’d be polite and follow the rules of dying and asked  all the questions they were supposed to ask.

“were the two of you close?” The nice nurse would ask.
And you would have say something like “ oh yes it its so sad to see her like this. like this and I hope she will be a peace soo.”
You had to lie and say something nice. You couldn’t say.
“No, not really she threw stuff at me and got drunk on my 13th birthday and threw up on me and cake,  I felt kinda closer to her then.”
But that doesn't seem fitting to say.  So i just said 
“She is my mother.”
and the nice nurse would say.
“oh i’m sorry.”

and then we would talk about something nice and proper  and not about masturbating closet or owing each other 5 dollars. And we could sit in the nice room and the nice walls. and talk with the other nice nurses .