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Plan for the Day. After ‘Girl’ by Jamaica Kincaid
Step in the hot shower; wash your clean body; wash your clean hair; step out of the shower; spray perfume; do your makeup so perfectly that no one sees the circles of your nightmares below your eyes; practice that smile in front of the mirror; practice that laugh; practice that crinkle of your nose; practice your laugh again because no one worries about a girl who can laugh; put your clothes on; avoid wearing too many colors because they draw attention to yourself; remember to eat breakfast but not too much because you don’t want to give yourself another reason to hate yourself; practice that smile one more time, you’ll thank yourself later; don’t be late; catch that yellow bus to school; watch the towering houses zoom by; watch your classmates deface the seat in front of them; watch the bus pull into that familiar building; take a deep breathe, you are more than that night; prepare yourself for the crowded hallway when walking into school; avoid the shoulders of people not paying attention; hold your head high, you have nothing to hide; look him straight in the eyes; let him know that he was in the wrong; ignore his smirk; laugh like you practiced in the mirror; go to class; spin in the swivel chairs; sit up straight; uncross your arms, no one is against you; keep your hair out of your face, you are not a damsel in distress; flash that flirty smile at anyone but him because you know better than that; practice what needs to be said; practice the I trusted you; practice the you broke me; get it off your chest; get it out in the open but don’t make a scene; I don’t know what to say; don’t fool yourself, you are not a coward; let him know what he did to you because he should feel guilty that you never said yes; no means no; he should feel guilty about the way he pushed you; he should feel guilty about the way he said that he would take care of you; not all men are like that; you owe it to yourself to be more than just a girl he took advantage of; you owe it to yourself to be more than just the night; do not be a man-hater just because of one man; they’re not all the same; do not jump when you are in shadows during lunch; not everyone is out to get you; relax; I’m done; you can’t be done, you have only just begun; think of the road ahead; you should not let that one night dominate your life; learn self defense to protect yourself, it will not change the past but it could change the future; begin to surround yourself with people who won’t desert you when you really need them; you can’t give into that one night; you can get through this, it was just one night; don’t get wrapped up in the drama, if you do you may never emerge again; take the bus home; don’t contemplate life on the bus, it never ends well; you know how to hold back the tears so why are you crying; pull it together; get off the bus; walk home; open the door; smile at Mom and Dad; poke fun at Mom like you used to; silently let her know that you are going to be ok; head upstairs; try to do your homework; try to stay focused; never give up; do it all again tomorrow.
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