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The Demons in Angels chapter one part two
Chapter 1
An unexpected find
I was standing on a cloud with her, holding her delicately. She looked deep into my eyes and I looked deep into her blood red ones. They held so much emotion and energy. I ran my fingers gently through her black, silky hair and surrounded us with my wings. She saw them and screamed, breaking the blanket of silence that but a moment ago was thick and warm. She pushed me away and started to run away. Time slowed down as I began to chase her, calling her name as she took flight. I never heard her tell me but I knew, Angela.
“Gabriel! Get up or you’ll never get used to your new schedule!”
I sat up with a start; my sister was staring at me. I could tell she was mad at me for sleeping in again.
“Get up or I’m telling Dad!” she shrieked at me.
“Then leave Abby.”
“Oooh! You’re impossible!”
Abby stormed out and I got up. Wondering how much the other students would hate me just for being me. I jumped out the window and spotted another angel, a Fallen. I looked at my watch. Abby had gotten me up a half hour early! Why can’t she just leave me be for ten minutes? I decided not to turn around but to wait for the other students to enter before I tried. I knew that they’d hate me more than any other Risen that they’d ever seen. I was sure of it. I waited for a full half hour, after the last of the students outside entered the building I climbed off the roof and cautiously stepped inside the cold unforgiving doors that I had seen as cheerier yesterday. I found my homeroom and the teacher introduced me. I felt like a complete dork. I looked around slowly and found the only empty seat in the whole room. Next to the most beautiful girl, I had ever seen. It was like finding a jewel among sand. I had seen her before. Wait, I saw her in my dream earlier today! This was weirder than weird. She turned her head slightly but then we locked eyes. Hers were exactly as I had seen them in my dream. She looked from side to side, as though she were searching for something, then she buried her face into her hands.
“Take your seat Gabriel.” I jumped at his voice and there was some laughter rippling through the room. I sat in the seat next to that girl I had locked eyes with; she still had her face in her hands. I suddenly remembered her name, Angela. It fits her. Angela jumped when she uncovered her face. It seemed like she almost punched me from reflex. I got my notes out and continued writing. It's too bad that we write with opposite hands. My arm was against hers the whole class through; I felt a gentle seeping heat ooze into my blood. I saw her after class; her friend was staring at me from across the hall. After the last teacher dismissed us, I went home in mild disgrace. I saw Angela on the way home; she’s a very graceful flyer. When we were halfway to home, she dropped altitude, fast. Time slowed down when I hit top speed to catch her. She didn’t act as if she cared that I was carrying her, somehow I knew she minded though. She probably hates me like the rest of them. She closed her eyes and opened one after a while. I realized I didn’t know what her house number was. When I spoke she hung even more limp than I thought possible.
“Where do you live?”
She didn’t answer me.
“What is your address?”
“29805.” She answered in a mid-soprano voice.
“Interesting.”
“What?”
“I live across the street from you.”
I saw her close her eyes again and groan, probably from the displeasure of knowing she would see me every day. I landed on her roof and was extra careful about her skin wings so I wouldn’t cut them. She stood up and the moon behind her made her glow with a silver light. I didn’t think it was possible but she looked even more beautiful than before. I couldn’t help but smile.
“Y-you should go.” My bliss shattered.
“What? Why?”
“I-I don’t want you to be caught standing on our roof.”
I resumed my smiling as I glided over to my roof. I caught one last glimpse of her before I climbed into my room window. I passed out on my bed and woke up with the sun in my face. I did my homework and went downstairs to sneak food up to my room. I closed my eyes and thought about Angela for the rest of the day.
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This article has 29 comments.
What I mean is, the reason is seems whiny when you meant him to seem differently is because this is a first draft. It needs to be changed, molded, formed into something beautiful. Right now it's like a piece of marble with bits and pieces missing, but with revision it will be a wonderful statue.
The rule to live by: If you need to explain it for the reader to understand (For example, I didn't see anything about discrimination in there), you need to change something so that they understand it just by reading the piece.