I miss the way your eyes lit up, the light shades of pink filling out your cheeks, and the way you almost couldn’t breath…when all we were doing was talking.

I loved the way your hands seemed to connect to mine like a perfect puzzle, and your gentle laugh while I bored you with lame jokes.

I remember the gentle pounding sound my heart made when you reached out to hold my hand, and then how goose bumps would race up my arm when you held it.

I can’t stop thinking about the sensation-It’s still unbeatable-as our lips gently clashed over each others in the perfect harmony, creating many lovely symphonies together.

I need to feel you beside me, because baby I’m so cold, I can’t stop shaking I swear, and you had a way of making me so warm inside when you wrapped me up in your arms.

I can never give my weary mind a rest from seeing flashbacks of your loving smile, hypnotizing eyes, pale soft skin.

I cry when I think about how inseparable we were, god, we were so in love.

I still love you though I know I shouldn’t. I still love you though you don’t love me back. I love you when you break my heart because you will never destroy it, and I know I’ll love you with the broken remains. I love you when the sun comes up, the moon comes out, the wind blows strong, and rain pours down. I love you though it’s been so long, but each day your image just grows stronger on my mind, thoughts of you plaguing my mind, your whisper running through my veins like a disease. Your rejection was like ice, and honestly, it brought me to life-fuels my love-and feeds my need of needing you.

I swear I have lost track of days. I have lost track of thoughts. All I care about you and everything around me is crumbling down. I have lost so much, and I can not, and have, not accepted you as one of those possessions. You belonged to me, you were part of me, we were as one.

If I never have you, I know I can not exist. Your memory keeps me alive just enough to live on. Your pictures grant my heart just enough beats to make it through the day.

I watch the videos of us and imagine us being together again. I love those old days, but you will never understand. You will never know. I don’t think I will ever find peace, happiness, satisfaction…

I can not live like this anymore. Holding on to everything I have ever known and loved, by an invisible piece of hope.

Dreams are the only place I can have you, be with you, love you, and most importantly…the only place you will love me back. And deep down somewhere lies the familiar realization I will never actually be with you, never have a real true love with you, or share moments I so often dream of, yearn to have. I do not think I could ever explain how bad it hurts. How much I can not accept it. How long I have held on to this false hope. All I can do is sleep the pain away. Every second I am awake is a second away from you, my love. And though you’re not real, and though I shouldn’t hold onto you, I have always been a dreamer. And dreams are never over.