Dear diary,

I've dated more boys than I care to remember. Tall boys, short boys, skinny boys, muscular boys, and everything inbetween. None of them lasted, though. At first, when I start dating a guy, nothing could be better. I'm totally head over heels happy about it. After a month, or sometimes less, it all wears off and I end it. I've dumped every guy I've dated with one exception, that one exception being a guy I thought, stupidly, was my soulmate.
It had been quite a while since I'd dated anyone, or another way to put it: made any mistakes, when I met someone who changed everything. I want to be completely honest with you here, I had never, ever thought I'd be interested in a girl before. Sure, I'd thought about movie stars or super hot models, but I could never imagine liking a girl from MY school, not ever, and about the famous girls, well I kept that a secret well enough. It was a cold winter day, probably mid February, and my New Years resolution had been to stay away from guys for a while, so I wasn't hanging out with anyone at lunch, my best friend Mellony was on a date with her boyfriend and I of course didn't have a date, so I ate alone in the middle of the grassy lawn in front of the school. Usually, this wasn't something I would do in the dead of winter, but I had on my puffy white, fur lined coat and fuzzy pink gloves; so I was warm enough. I layed on top of the damp wooded picnic table compfortable, my coat proving to be a great cushion for my chest, and twirled through songs on my Ipod. It was really nice to just breath in the wonderful chill in the air and think to myself about basically nothing.
For a while I didn't even notice the tall, beatiful, girl standing flushed in front of me. When I did I jumped, "uhh hey...Do I know you?" I asked awkwardy, my town on the edge of rude. I had no idea who in the heck she was.
I turned the volume down on my Ipod and sat up, looking her over. Her face looked flushed, her cheeks dancing with pink from the cold. She had on jeans and a thick jacket, her dark brown hair up in a tight pony tail, making her glistening blue eyes look huge and lost. I almost felt bad for being rude to her, she looked so innocent and sweet.
"Sorry," she said quietly, looking down at her shoes, "I'm new here and I was just wondering if I could eat with you. I don't know where else to go. And I couldn't really find anyone...normal. I'm Lena by the way."
I snickered when she said that. Normal. Whats normal? But she was right, almost everyone who was anyone went of campus for lunch. Left over were the unbathed freaks that checked out every girl like they were a peice of prime rib and the nerds who stayed to study, not exactly the most approachable people.
"Sure," I said boredly.
I didn't really care, I didn't mind company and she seemed really nice, my thinking time would just have to wait. She climbed up onto the table with me and sat down, looking around her like she expected someone to jump out at her any second. I'd never been new before, but I couldn't imagine it was THAT scary.
"Where are you from?"
"Kansas."
We talked about our families and our past and what sports we did. We both played volleyball and had overprotective parents and all that jazz. We talked the rest of lunch and then I helped her find her fourth period class and we went our seperate ways. I gave her my phone number in case she needed anything, I had a good feeling we would be become friends. It was nice to be making a new friend, like a fresh start. My other friends were all so busy lately and when we hung out we always did the same old thing, go bowling and then out to some party where boys tried to get in our pants...fun. But Lena seemed different, she seemed too innocent to be a partier, but bold enough to be fun.
After that, we spent a lot of time together, almost every lunch. In April though, things got a little weird. I was sitting with all my other friends at Wendy's in one of those booths meant for 2, but we happened to cram atleast four of us on either side, when Brandon said, "Where's your girlfriend?"
Everyone laughed and I glared at him, "What?"
Brandon was the time of skeez most girls stayed clear from unless they wanted meaningless action. He was a total jerk to girls, but always managed to get with one at a party anyways. To us though, he was just one of our friends, who had a reputation but was funny regardless.
"Lena? Shes HOT! You guys getting it on?"
"Excuse me?" I felt my cheeks redden, "We're just friends. Since when have I been into girls?"
"Yeah, since when?" he said laughing, "we'd all love to know."
I kicked him under the table and glared. And that was that. I only liked her as a friend right. I thought of her gorgeous blue eyes and flowing brown hair and my arms tingled a little bit. What if I did have feelings for her? I wasn't a lesbian, was I? Was I bi? I had never been more confused in my entire life. A few days later, I was sitting alone with Lena in her room, looking around as she was in the bathroom. Her room was pink and covered in posters of sexy male models, shirtless. I smiled as I saw a picture of us from one of the dances, hanging above her computer. We looked so good in our long silky dresses, arms around eachother like we'd known eachother our whole lives. She was definitely my best friend, there was no way I LIKED her.

She came out of the bathroom attatched to her room smiling. She sat down next to me, our hands almost touching. The hair on my wrist tingled. I turned my head. She turned hers.
"Whaaa-" She started to say quietly, her eyes searching mine.
I couldn't help myself, I looked at her pink lips, so angelic. I moved in, closer, closer, until they were touching. To my suprise, she didn't pull away. Suddenly, our lips were moving softly against eachother, rythmically in a muted melody. It was the weirdest sensation. It wasn't rushed or full of intense pressure like how it was with guys. It was more inoccent somehow.
I still haven't told anyone, but I really like Lena. For now we're going to keep it a secret and take things slow. I never thought I'd say this, but I like a girl.