"Why him? What's so special about him?" Asked everyone, always.

My answer, always the same.
"Why him? I don't know. All I know is that every little thing he does I marvel at. It's the little things that make me want to never stop smiling. It's his eyes. It's his smile. It's the way he laughs in such an awkward manner, but I find lovely either way. It's the expression he gets when he's embarrassed. It's that small half smile of his. It's his kind heart. It's the fact that he can ramble on and on about the silliest things, and even though, it can get annoying, I'll never stop loving that small flaw. It's those stupid jokes he makes, but I can't help laughing at. It's the fact that he's so smart and yet he can't see it. I also know that every ounce of pain I see him in kills me slowly. When he's mad I just want to make it all go away, but I can't because life doesn't work that way. It's the fact he thinks he's mediocre when he couldn't be more perfect. It's the way I want to crawl up into a ball and sob when I see him doubt himself or in his moments of great pain. It's the fact that I get legitimate pain in my chest when I think of him being hurt. Lastly, the one thing that I wish was different and yet must remain the same. It's the fact that he can never find out about any of these things I love. It's like I'm leading a double life when I'm with him. Although, sometimes I wish that secret would come flooding out, I know it's better if the wall stays up. For now, I'll just keep leading this nonsense of a double life, but that's okay because haven't we all wanted to be like Russian spies sometime or another?