Cool, peaceful darkness...the best feeling. I love the calm, having those moments to yourself where there is nothing else to do except sit and think. Before the move, every day was like that. I would look out into the everlasting stream of glossy white boxes, inside of which was something that looked just like me. We sat in a bright room until one day I felt myself turning upside down. My box was pushed onto a moving surface, that dragged me up, down, and every which way. Soon I felt myself falling, falling, failing, down until THUMP. The bright light went away. My tiny white box was placed into a brown one and before I realized it, the top was sealed as the world became pitch black. Where was I going? It feels more like a blur now, recalling this traumatic moment in my life. I know there was lots of twisting, turning, and sliding around that big box. In my mind, everything was coming apart. I had lost my home, it had betrayed me. 

Eventually, I ended up here, but I don’t know what that means. I’m trying to figure it out as the days go by. Slowly, I’ve gotten into the routine, adjusted to my new way of life. It certainly is much more exciting, and I am beginning to like it, but I would never admit that out loud. My friends have made me feel right at home. Although they creeped me out at first, everyone has grown on me. 

First, there is Slinky, whose name is very telling of his appearance, a body full of links and a large head with massive eyes. Then, Woof, who explained to me that they are a dog. Mush, who is a small red blob. Finally, the crew: Pointy, Squid, Star, Roar, and Fishy. They told me they are all toy animals, and so am I. “What’s a toy animal?” I had asked. Woof told me that we are small, fake versions of real creatures, but I am not completely sure I understand. I am real, this I know for certain. They haven’t told me yet how they arrived at this conclusion. 

Sometimes, while I sit in silence I ponder this concept: reality. According to my friends, I am a toy, and apparently, toys can only communicate with themselves. But the creatures we see each day, and I have grown close to, only communicate with each other. The other creatures in the world can move without help, they can do things such as eating, drinking, sleeping, none of which I understand. Pointy tried to explain to me that they can also love, which is something our toys will never be able to understand. The word love sounds so pretty, so I assume it means something positive. Love, doesn’t it just sound so smooth and easy to say? But it doesn’t make sense to me. My shape, color, and size are different, but I’m here, I think that makes me real. Sometimes I think and grow envious of the other creatures who are real, it must be awful nice. The toys tell me being real isn’t all that great, but how would they know?  

Anyway, my name is Quacky. According to Roar, it is because I am a Duck. I have learned that Ducks love the water, even toy ducks like me. That seemed scary to me at first - water. But I have grown to like it. A few times every day, the room lights up with white light. Usually, the 4th or 5th time is the one. I know this because a booming stomp grows louder and louder. Soon enough, a massive creature will come in. They scare me a lot. Its name is “Mom,” but occasionally “Dad.” Today, it was Mom. I like Mom more. Mom makes light happy sounds. It does this thing called laughter that Roar told me about it. Roar said when someone finds something funny, they laugh. I love laughter. Soon after Mom enters, a basin gets filled with water. I have discovered this is called a tub, short for a bathtub. That’s a funny word - tub. When the tub is filled, a smaller thing comes in. Its name is Bess. It gets into the tub, for my worst nightmare that Star has nicknamed “bathtime.” 

Bess decides who will be its first victim. Bess chose me around five times in a row when I was new. When I am picked first, the expectations are high. Sometimes Bess makes me soar through the air and plunge under the water, which is always uncomfortable as at first my insides feel as though they are merging. Other times, Bess tosses me around and squeezes my insides so hard a squeak comes out. When I squeak Bess laughs. That’s when I heard a laugh for the first time. Then Mom or Dad will laugh. I’m not laughing though. My body feels like it’s going to shrivel up so my head and bottom are almost touching. For some reason, Bess loves that and will do it again and again. All of a sudden, it will catapult me into the water and forget that I even exist. If I’m not first, eventually it finds me, and one way or another I end up squeaking. After an eternity in the tub, Bess scrambles out and Mom helps. Then Mom pulls a magic handle so all the water disappears. Mom has magical powers, and watching that amazes me every time. I’m still trying to figure out where the water goes. Some nights Mom or Dad will take a fluffy square and wrap all of us in it. The fluff is always so comforting and puts me at ease right away. The bliss doesn't last long though, as we end up right where it started, on a shelf near the tub.

That’s all. The same thing happens over and over again. It’s been getting better though, and I like the group. Of course, I like Bess and Mom and Dad too. Although sitting with my thoughts every day was nice, being alone gave me this icky feeling sometimes. I don’t know how to describe it. When I spend time with my friends though, I get this warm fuzzy feeling. It’s a sign telling me that I belong. And I think I do. So maybe the toys are wrong, we are real, just in a different way. Maybe we can’t do everything, Bess, Mom, and Dad can, but the most important thing is the ability to feel. Before I came here I didn’t know what that was like. Now I do. I have found purpose and meaning, which sounds pretty real to me.