My shadow is following me. It won’t leave me alone, everywhere I go, everything I do, it’s there. At first I wasn’t bothered by it; after all your shadow is supposed to follow you, but for me it's different.
I think I first saw the change this past summer on the Fourth of July. I was hanging out with my friends, waiting for the sun to set and the fireworks to start. As the sun lowered behind the trees, I saw the other shadows slowly getting longer, but mine stayed the same. And as they finally dipped out of sight, the dark copies of my friends disappeared, but my shadow stayed. Only for a second, but I swear it lingered before fading away.
Over the past few months it’s been getting worse. My shadow continued to defy the sun, staying in the same shape and position throughout the day. During the peak of the day it seemed to be able to move on its own, as if the sun was giving it power. Relief only came when the sun went down, but even then it would stay, and it’s been staying longer and longer with every passing day. I would still have my time to myself though, that is until yesterday. Last night my shadow stayed with me. It hung on the wall and watched me as I tried to sleep, but sleep didn’t come.
When the sun came up this morning and shone through the window, my shadow was still there, unmoving and unresponsive. I frantically waved my arms, waiting for it to respond. I needed it to respond, but it just sat there, taunting me.
I screamed at it, I threw things at the wall, I asked it what it wanted from me, but still nothing. My mom came into my room, and she asked me what was wrong. I so wanted to tell her but I couldn’t. She would think I was crazy; what if she couldn’t even see it? I didn’t know what I would do, but I did know that I had to keep it to myself. I told my mom that I had just woke up from a bad dream and that everything was fine. She believed me and left me once again alone, with it.
I stared at the wall. I didn’t know what to do, how would anyone know what to do. This isn’t something that happens regularly, it doesn’t happen at all, and now it was driving me crazy. I decided to just go through the day as if it were any other. I had been doing it for the past two months so there was nothing stopping me from doing it now.
I slowly got up out of my bed, keeping my eyes on it; it still didn’t move. I got myself ready for school, never taking my eyes off of it for more than a few seconds. I had finally gotten everything ready; I was ready to leave my room. I backed slowly up to the door, it didn’t follow me which was strange. Ever since that awful night in July it had followed me everywhere without fail, but now, nothing.
I quickly went about the rest of my morning routine, breakfast, hair, teeth brushing, and still, no shadow. I was beginning to feel a sense of relief that I had never felt before and it was great. I walked out of the house with a new sense of confidence. I was still a little cautious of the shadow so I walked faster than normal to the bus stop.
Soon after starting my walk, however, I lost all sense of safety that I had foolishly gained. As I walked down the cracked sidewalk, I could feel that there was something wrong in the air. I then saw that something was very wrong. The shadows, all of the shadows were reaching out to me. I could actually see them creeping towards me whenever I got near like they were attracted to me. I sped up my pace, going from walking to running, to sprinting faster than I had ever gone before. I was beyond terrified, I couldn’t even begin to understand what was happening to me. All I knew was that I couldn’t stop moving. I didn’t know what would happen if the shadows got me, but I didn’t want to find out. I just had to get to the bus and then everything would be alright, but I couldn’t be any more wrong.
As I rounded the corner of the final street before my stop, I was frozen in my tracks. There in the middle of the sidewalk was my shadow. My terrible, awful, menacing shadow that had stared me down the past night. I stood stunned, not sure of what to do, then it started to get closer to me. Slow at first but then quickly, rolling over the uneven sidewalk. I turned to run but I was caught by a mass of shadows closing in on me. I was left stranded on a small island of light that was quickly fading away. I panicked and tried to jump away from the shadows but landed in the mass of shade. The Shadow began to move up my leg, covering my body and coming up to my head. When it reached my neck, it stopped. I tried to move but was paralyzed. I looked at my enemy who had followed me so closely for all of my life, a dark friend always by my side. It lifted its ghoulish arm ever so slowly and waved. It waved as if it were saying goodbye, and as it lowered its arm I swear that I saw it smile. When its arm blended back in with its side the shadow covering my body fully engulfed my head.
The world went dark. I had no idea where I was. Everywhere I looked was black and my shadow was nowhere to be seen. I spun myself around, trying to find some clue as to where I was, and then I saw it. It looked like a window. It was the only source of light, and it was blinding compared to the deep black surrounding me. As the window came into focus, I realized what it was. It was the outside world, my world. I saw the large tree on the corner of the street that my bus stop was on, the large red house with the wind chimes, and me. I was standing there catatonic. I was confused, I didn’t know who I was looking at or more what I was looking at.
That brings me to where I am now. Looking out the shining window, I yell trying to get some sort of explanation but no sound comes out. It is then that the me in the window seems to come to life, I turn to myself and raise my arm in a ghoulish way. I wave as if I am saying goodbye and as I lower my arm I see myself smile. The darkness closes in as my only window to the outside world disappears and I am alone.
I stand in the darkness and stare at the point where the light once was. I then realize that I’m not even sure of I’m standing. I look down towards my feet but just see darkness. What’s strange is that I can still see myself. There is definitely no source of light coming in from anywhere, yet I can still clearly see myself as if the sun were shining.
I pull myself together, getting over what I clearly can’t explain. I move my hands around, trying to feel for something. I feel resistance, there is more than just air around me, it feels almost as if I am swimming in a pool of maple syrup, but yet I am still breathing.
I pull myself through the space around me, trying to find a wall, or end to wherever I am. I swim upwards for what seemed like hours, pulling harder and harder, getting more and more frantic as I found no escape.
I slow to a stop and sit. I scream but hear no sound, I punch at the soup around me and begin to cry. I go over in my head what I do and don’t know. I know that my shadow is what put me here and that’s about al. I don’t know where this is, why I am here, what my shadow is, how to get back, or what I will be going back to.
I feel defeated and I’m about to give up, I turn my head and it is then that I see something. A red cube floating off in the distance. It’s hard to determine exactly how far but I know that I am going to get there.
I swim with a new sense of hope and I continue to swim for who knows how long. Eventually the cube begins to get bigger and bigger, until finally it is there, right in front of me. The cube is slowly spinning counter clockwise, pulsating and releasing a faint red glow. I hear a quiet humming noise with each pulse of the cube as it appears to be the only thing in this god forsaken place that makes any sound.
I have no idea what it does or why it is important but I have a feeling that it is important to me. I slowly reach my hand out to touch it and as I get closer it begins to pulse faster and brighter. As I get to be within less than a centimeter from it, it’s no longer pulsing, but instead shining bright red and is producing a defining hum. I hesitate for a moment and then grab it.
The darkness around me melts away and in a whirlwind of light, my high school chemistry class comes into focus around me. I see my teacher, my friends, and in my seat I see myself. It isn’t me, however, I can tell that it’s that thing. As I look around the room it is clear that no one else can see me, that is no one except my shadow.
My shadow noticed me right when I appeared and has been glaring at me since. It’s angry, I can see it in its face and as its leg begins to tap faster and faster. I realize that I’m not supposed to be here. Whatever its plan was, this is not a part of it.
Its anger builds and at the point when I feel it may get up and come at me, it screams, “NO!” and pounds its fist on the table.
The rest of the class stops what they are doing and turns to look at it. My teacher asks it, “Andrew, is something wrong?”
It doesn’t pay attention and continues to stare. I then notice that the cube is still in my hand, and it is beginning to pulse, with the pulses getting further and further apart. As the cube pulses slower I see the room begin to get darker and darker and the air gets thicker and thicker.
Frantically, I run up to my teacher and plead, yelling at the top of my lungs, asking her to see me or hear me. The darkness fills in more and more of the space around me and just as the small window into the real world begins to close again, I swear that I see my teacher look in my direction. I see her mouth out my name.
Once again I am back in the darkness, once again I am alone, but this time I’m not scared. I look around for the cube and see it, now even further from me. I don’t let this discourage me because now I have a way to fight back, now I have a way to get out, and God help me I am going to get out.