[Setting: A conference room in an office building.

At Rise:  CHRISTINE, a petite woman in her late thirties, gives a presentation in front of the all-male board of directors.  All wear well-tailored suits.  The men doodle, whisper, and generally do not pay attention.]

CHRISTINE
Now, if you look at this graph I have prepared, these are projections of our expected yearly revenue based on potential spending on advertising.  As you can see, if we increase our advertising budget to this amount (points), I fully expect to see a ten percent increase in our annual revenue.

[CHRISTINE pauses and waits for a response from this dynamic prediction.  The men, who have not been paying attention, do not react.  She grows frustrated.]

CHRISTINE (cont.)
Our other option would be to…it would be to…release puppies into the office and let them run our board meetings.  (pauses; no reaction) Yep.  Adorable, furry, messy little puppies.  I bet they’d be pretty good for PR, wouldn’t you think?  And a cat at the receptionist’s desk.  And, you know, while we’re at it, why don’t we just go ahead and bring in a team of bunny rabbits to consult on the Connecticut branch?  Problem is, even if those bunnies spent weeks collecting data and studying the demographics to give you what you wanted, not a single one of you would care.  Even if they were smart, completely qualified bunnies, you wouldn’t pay attention because they’re just bunnies.  And what do bunnies know?  Oh, and then I thought, why don’t we hire a bear?  But of course, I realize, no one will pay any attention to the bear ‘cause she’s a mama bear.  And once mama bears have cubs, everyone knows all they can do is focus on the cub.  They’re no good at hunting or hiding or anything anymore, ‘cause they’ve got a kid to take care of, right?  And how could someone possibly hunt and take care of a baby at the same time?  They must have to rely on the papa bears for everything, huh?  (pauses; still no response) So naturally, everyone just ignores the mama bear, even if she’s a damn good hunter.  I would bet that bear is pretty damn frustrated that no one takes her seriously.  (pauses) You know, at this point, I think the only way to get your attention is if I just took my shirt off and gave this presentation in my underwear.

[The men suddenly sit up straight, now attentive.]

CHRISTINE (cont.)
Thank you.  Glad that got your attention.  Now, as I was saying, if we increase our advertising budget…

[End.]