It hasn’t always been like this. Our house wasn’t always filled with yelling and fighting. It seems as though all the talking has just turned into arguing between my parents. I don’t know what happened to them. It got really bad tonight. They were in their room. I know I am not supposed to eaves drop, but they were being so loud, obviously I was going to come down and see what was happening. I was standing in the kitchen. My ear was against the door. I had to be very still. I kept my shoes away from the door so I would not be seen. It was as if I was a secret spy like on all the T.V. shows I watch with my dad. I could tell my mom was getting more and more mad.
“Get out of this house NOW”
“Please Sally, it was once, we had been fighting, you were out of town, it was a mistake, I wish I could take it back, I do, I really do.”
“Well it’s to late for that, you have a child Matt. A child with that slut.”
“I didn’t even know he was mine until today, I swear.”
“Maybe, you should just go to sleep at your girlfriend’s house with your son, your happy little family across the street.”
“I don’t want to be there, this is my family.”
I don’t understand. How can my dad have a son? He doesn’t have a son. He has two daughters, Lilly and me. And he doesn’t have a girlfriend; he has a wife, my mom. I don’t get how this could happen. It can’t, its impossible. The only people across the street are Amanda and Kyle, a mother and son. Amanda doesn’t have a boyfriend; mom said she is a single mom.
“Leave right now, you cheating pig.”
There are footsteps coming to the door. My dad must be leaving. Quickly, I run away from the door and go to the fridge. I will get a glass of water. I was thirsty so I came down for water. I wasn’t listening. My dad walks out. 
“Hi daddy.”
“Hi sweetie.”
“Where are you going, you never leave this late?”
“Don’t worry about it, Meg. You need to go to bed. Slept tight”
I start to walk up the stairs to go to bed. I stop and watch him leave the house. He uses the back door, which he always does. It wasn’t the same walk. His head was down and filled with emotion, I could see it in his face. It wasn’t like the normal dad I knew. The door slammes. It slammes. No one ever slams doors in my house. I know this is bad. This is very bad. He tried to act like everything was okay but I knew it wasn’t. Everyone thinks I’m still a baby. That I can’t handle the truth. But I am not. I am twelve. That is almost a teenager and I cannot even know why my parents are fighting. I know what cheating is. They probably think I do not know what it means but I do. My friend Stacy’s parents got a divorce because her dad cheated on her mom. A divorce. I don’t want mom and dad to get a divorce. Our family cannot break up. I don’t want it too. I am scared.
KNOCK KNOCK. Not even a second goes by, it knocks again. Once more. Dad opens the door in his pajama pants and t-shirt. He must of got home late last night. I am watching from the stairs. I am being quiet because they don’t know I am awake. His tired eyes are accompanied by a big yawn. The tiredness soon fades once he sees the face of Amanda. Before dad asks whats wrong, Amanda starts to cry and asks if he has seen Kyle.
His son. The son that he just found out about yesterday. My brother. I don't understand how he is gone. I saw him yesterday. We were playing outside, I was riding my bike. He was on his tricycle. We were laughing and having a good time, like we always do as if it was any other day. Now he is gone, right after we found out we were brother and sister. I finally had a brother, I always kind of wanted one. And he is gone. I can’t believe he just disappeared.
“I saw him yesterday, is everything okay?”
“I went into his room this morning and he wasn’t in his bed. He’s gone. What if he’s dead? What if someone took him? He never wanders off. I don’t know where to look. I checked the whole house. He is so well behaved. What if someone took him? What if he is dead?”
Without a second thought, dad runs and grabs the phone. The responder says “ 9 1 1 what is your emergency…” The police say they are on their way. By now everyone in the house is awake. I get out of my hiding spot. We all sit on the couch for what feels like an hour before the police get there.
They arrived. It didn't take long until everyone was outside, trying to figure out what was going on. Eventually, they all walked over. The neighbors were all very sad and loving towards Amanda. The police said “We will do what we can, and let you know what we find.”
Dad usually goes for a run every morning. This run was unlike the others, he needed this one in order to clear his head. He seemed to be very overwhelmed by the whole situation. Everyone was. Mom was at home pacing around mumbling under her breathe.
It hadn't been that long when I saw my dad running from the back woods to the back door. He ran into the glass door because he had so much speed. His face was filled with terror. It was as if he had seen a ghost. I knew it couldn't be good.
“HELP HELP!!!”
“What happened?”
“I found Kyle”
This is what we all hoped he hadn’t said. Of all the things he could have said, it had to be that he found Kyle. For a slight second, I thought it was a good thing. Then I remembered the sprint into the door, the scream for help and the emotion filled look that consumed his face.
“And…..”
“He is dead.”
Mom started to cry. I was surprised. That is dad’s son with another woman, one that dad cheated on mom with and made that child, yet mom was crying for this little boy. Was there something I missed? I thought she would be happy. The boy that had caused the trouble is gone.
My sister had babysat him for years. She aways thought of him as more of a neighbor, not even knowing the truth. I do not even think she knows now that he is our brother.
“Our brother is dead?”
“What Megan?” said dad.
“Opps, never mined, forget I said anything.”
“How do you know that?” said mom.
“Our brother….?” said my sister.
“I might have heard you and mom fighting the other night and mom said Amanda was your girlfriend, and Kyle was your son, and that was your family.”
“You know you shouldn’t eaves drop Megan, we were going to tell both of you, when the time was right.”
“Are you kidding me?” My sister was mad.
She stormed up to her room, tears in her eyes about Kyle, slowly drying up and replaced with anger that they hadn't told her and that daddy was a cheater. I wasn't mad at dad. It was so long ago. I just wish that is how mom looked at it. I do not want them to fight anymore. I just want it to go back to the way it was, before all of this. Before the fights and the yelling and the arguing and the tension. But back to when we were all happy, we spent family days together and laughed and talked for hours. When we watched movies on the couch with two bowls of popcorn, one for me and daddy and one for mom and Lilly. I miss that.
Mom and Dad called the police right after we all talked and they immediately came over. Dad brought one cop to the area Kyle was, while the other one went to tell Amanda the news. I watched through my window as Amanda heard what happened. She dropped to the floor in a loud scream. It wasn't even a cry but a scream. That was her only child. Imagine if me or Lilly died. I wonder what mom and dad would do. That seems so sad. When our dog died, I cried for a whole week, and that was for an animal.
KNOCK KNOCK. The police were at our house. “How exactly did you find Kyle?”
“I already told the other officer.”
“Answer the question.”
“I was on a run, as I always do in the morning and when I ran by the river I saw Kyle. I screamed and ran home immediately, told my family and called the cops.”
“We are going to need you to come down to the station.”
What? Why would they need him to come to the station? He found the missing boy, he found Kyle. Do they think he killed him? No. He would never. I know he wouldn’t. They can not just accuse him of that. I do not want him to be in trouble. Why does it matter who killed him? It is not like it will make him come back, it is done and over with.
“Mom, why did they just get dad?”
“I do not know hunny. I am sure everything is fine.”
Everything was not fine, it was anything but fine. He was brought down day after day to the station or police would come to our house. They would question him and question him. I tried to tell them, it wasn't him and that he would never do that. It didn't work. He shouldn't have to go through this. I know he wouldn't do that. I just want to help him. The whole neighborhood turned against him. Everyone thinks he killed Kyle, his own son. Why would someone kill their own son? People at school even started to make comments at me, saying my dad was a “child killer.” It made me so mad. One boy was chanting it, he wouldn't stop, so I made him. I punched him right in the face as hard as I could. Daddy always taught me to stand up for myself, so I did.
There was a good sign. After two weeks of the police questioning him. It was done. He cleared his name and was no longer a suspect. I am not sure why or how, I tried to listen in, but I just didn't understand. I think my parents were trying to be careful. They used all big words that I had never heard before. I didn't care as long as my dad wasn't going to be in trouble. I think everything will get better.
KNOCK KNOCK. The police were back. I thought this was all over, I thought my dad was free.
“Ma’m, we need you to come down the the police station.”
Now they are after my mom. First my dad, now my mom. Is this a joke? Can’t they just leave us alone so we can be happy again? So the fighting can stop? She was gone almost all day. When she came home I was sitting on the couch. Her face was stressed, tired and irritated all into one.
“What happened Mom?”
“They just had to ask me couple questions sweetie. You need to go to bed”
Sweetie. Sweetie. She called me sweetie and won’t tell me what is happening because she thinks I am stupid. I can understand what is going on, I can be explained what is happening. I do not get why no one will tell me anything like I’m 5 years old. News flash I am not.
Mom went right to her room, where dad was.
“I am so done with this, I am so done with you. I can’t do this anymore. Suddenly, because, you are no longer the bad guy, I am. Because you cheated on me and had a son with the neighbor, I am suddenly a child killer. As if I am some sort of psychopath.”
The yelling went on and on. I sat there for 3 hours listening to it. I was surprised they didn't lose their voices, it was so bad. This wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn’t. All of their problems were supposed to be solved. Kyle was gone. The one thing standing in between them and their happiness. The only reason they had been fighting. I thought without him it would all go away. I thought we could all be a family, a happy family. If only I made it to the river, this would have never have happened. Mom and Dad wouldn't have been questioned. Mom wouldn't have gotten mad at dad again. The yelling would have stopped. This isn't how I planned it. If only I got Kyle to the river.