Breakup Letter | Teen Ink

Breakup Letter MAG

December 6, 2008
By Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"


Dear Windows Internet Explorer,

Our relationship has been strained for a long time. Of course, it’s not all your fault, nor is it all mine. Our intermediary is also to blame: my hated Gateway (insert string of numbers hidden somewhere on the computer’s body, necessary for purchase of any software) PC, which runs far too slowly and far too aggravatingly. But that does not get you off the hook.

You see, Windows Internet Explorer, I can no longer deal with your ridiculous loading time. Sure, at one time I found it attractive – even sexy – for my browser to take ages to log in or load a webpage. But not anymore. My life is fuller than it was, and I don’t have time for you to semi-load and then stop.

Also, as much as I loved it when we got together, your refusal to log me in to some of my necessary accounts, such as e-mail and MySpace, has become a problem. It was unfair of you, and I should not have submitted to your cruelty and mistreatment.

A third reason for my leaving you may seem mean: you are simply far too sickly. You are constantly contracting new viruses, and your immune system is terrible. I don’t have the time or the money to care for you anymore. It may seem unfair, but you will have to survive on your own. I cannot keep healing you, going through and finding all your corrupted files, cleansing our intermediary’s system because you have given it some virus, bug, or spyware. It takes far too much time and energy, which I do not have.

Windows Internet Explorer, you did wonderful things for me that, at the time, no other could do. But, my dear, times have changed, and while you have too, you have not changed enough. I am 16 now, nearly a grown woman, and I cannot tolerate your childish ways. As much as I once cared about you, I fear that the time has come for us to part.

Your former friend,
(I’m sorry, but it seems I’ve forgotten the rest.)

P.S. When I clicked on you, then selected “uninstall,” I meant that I never wanted to see you again. I wanted you off my PC. I didn’t mean “create five new shortcuts.”

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This article has 232 comments.

on Nov. 2 2009 at 9:21 am
Hannah523 SILVER, Winterport, Maine
8 articles 0 photos 11 comments
Haha very cute, made me laugh :)

on Oct. 11 2009 at 10:48 pm
twobirdstone GOLD, Jonesboro, Arkansas
10 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
i have a heartbeat, not like a comma, but like a period, one after another, set in succession on a page; each echoing a silent finality.

-- adapted from "the fountainhead"

cute. very cute.

the ending especially made me smile.

on Oct. 11 2009 at 4:31 pm
FlyleafFreak DIAMOND, Loveland, Colorado
51 articles 0 photos 203 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I have faith in fools;self confidence my friends call it"~Edger Allan Poe
"In this world of infinite insanity, your friends are the best psychiatrists you will ever have."~Me

LOL! This is great, its how I felt too with the internet explorer. This is hilarious, keep writing. =P

Ali.B GOLD said...
on Oct. 11 2009 at 3:45 pm
Ali.B GOLD, Lexington, North Carolina
10 articles 0 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
I write whatever flows from my fingers- AJY

haha! did you get a reply?

on Oct. 11 2009 at 8:59 am
elvinchangling55 SILVER, Malverne, New York
6 articles 0 photos 50 comments
i love it !!!!! sooo cleaver! you have a great sense of humour!!!

on Oct. 11 2009 at 12:14 am
Passion03 BRONZE, Brea, California
2 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
When I woke up this morning lying in bed, I was asking myself;
What are some of the secrets of success in life?
I found the answer right there, in my very room.
The Fan said... Be cool
The Roof said... Aim High
The Window said... See the world
The Clock said... Every minute is precious
The Mirror said... Reflect before you act
The Calendar said... Be up-to-date
The Door said... Push hard for your goals

clever and funny

loved it :]

especially the P.S.

on Sep. 19 2009 at 4:14 pm
gtfclucky2 BRONZE, Perrysburg, Ohio
2 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
:)Just keep swimming(:

haha! That is so funny! :) I love all the screennames ( i have a few myself ) and the PS! haha! i love it!

on Sep. 19 2009 at 1:08 pm
MayaPapaya BRONZE, DuPont, Washington
3 articles 0 photos 4 comments
this is funny , i love it ! it is so true too ,

on Sep. 19 2009 at 11:45 am
Robkingett PLATINUM, Tallahassee, Florida
24 articles 0 photos 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
When I was little they called me a liar, but now I'm grown up, they call me a writer.

i just plain out love this!

Mollaballa said...
on Aug. 22 2009 at 9:07 pm
This is very funny and i loved how you summed up how so many ppl feel

on Aug. 15 2009 at 3:39 pm
Annabelle7614, Nunyabusiness, Georgia
0 articles 0 photos 97 comments

Favorite Quote:
This is my favorite personal quote.

LOL I totally agree with you!

donutyum said...
on Aug. 14 2009 at 11:33 pm
this is slightly coool

Emily(: BRONZE said...
on Jul. 31 2009 at 8:38 pm
Emily(: BRONZE, Montclair, Virginia
1 article 2 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
love is giving someone the power to destroy you...but trusting them not to but good.....funny too (:

on Jul. 13 2009 at 7:35 am
practicerandomkindness, Rindge, New Hampshire
0 articles 0 photos 46 comments
Best article ever! so funny and so true!

on Jul. 13 2009 at 7:35 am
practicerandomkindness, Rindge, New Hampshire
0 articles 0 photos 46 comments
Best article ever! so funny and so true!

on Jul. 13 2009 at 7:35 am
practicerandomkindness, Rindge, New Hampshire
0 articles 0 photos 46 comments
Best article ever! so funny and so true!

on Jul. 10 2009 at 11:39 pm
Dandelion PLATINUM, Franklin, Massachusetts
20 articles 8 photos 173 comments
Mozilla Firefox forever!

LilJ<3 GOLD said...
on Jul. 8 2009 at 11:38 pm
LilJ<3 GOLD, Gloucester, Virginia
11 articles 2 photos 60 comments
This is GREAT! You summed up what about a billion feel every minute they are on windows explorer! Great job again. That was intertaining and grabbed my attention from beginning to end! please keep writting!

on Jun. 30 2009 at 4:06 pm
pinksage33 BRONZE, Woodstock, New York
4 articles 1 photo 211 comments
This is very funny!!! (in a good way)

on Jun. 29 2009 at 7:55 pm
jaquetem BRONZE, Cincinnati, Ohio
2 articles 4 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
Get up and Raise your Voice!

haha! that is too funny (: