Breakup Letter | Teen Ink

Breakup Letter MAG

December 6, 2008
By Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
Fuocotanzer PLATINUM, Jacksonville, Florida
27 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested"


Dear Windows Internet Explorer,

Our relationship has been strained for a long time. Of course, it’s not all your fault, nor is it all mine. Our intermediary is also to blame: my hated Gateway (insert string of numbers hidden somewhere on the computer’s body, necessary for purchase of any software) PC, which runs far too slowly and far too aggravatingly. But that does not get you off the hook.

You see, Windows Internet Explorer, I can no longer deal with your ridiculous loading time. Sure, at one time I found it attractive – even sexy – for my browser to take ages to log in or load a webpage. But not anymore. My life is fuller than it was, and I don’t have time for you to semi-load and then stop.

Also, as much as I loved it when we got together, your refusal to log me in to some of my necessary accounts, such as e-mail and MySpace, has become a problem. It was unfair of you, and I should not have submitted to your cruelty and mistreatment.

A third reason for my leaving you may seem mean: you are simply far too sickly. You are constantly contracting new viruses, and your immune system is terrible. I don’t have the time or the money to care for you anymore. It may seem unfair, but you will have to survive on your own. I cannot keep healing you, going through and finding all your corrupted files, cleansing our intermediary’s system because you have given it some virus, bug, or spyware. It takes far too much time and energy, which I do not have.

Windows Internet Explorer, you did wonderful things for me that, at the time, no other could do. But, my dear, times have changed, and while you have too, you have not changed enough. I am 16 now, nearly a grown woman, and I cannot tolerate your childish ways. As much as I once cared about you, I fear that the time has come for us to part.

Your former friend,
(I’m sorry, but it seems I’ve forgotten the rest.)

P.S. When I clicked on you, then selected “uninstall,” I meant that I never wanted to see you again. I wanted you off my PC. I didn’t mean “create five new shortcuts.”

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This article has 232 comments.

MetallixRose said...
on Mar. 1 2011 at 3:21 pm
Haha! This was really funny! I enjoyed it. Keep up the good work. said...
on Mar. 1 2011 at 3:21 pm, Markham, Other
0 articles 0 photos 13 comments
This was a very creative way to prove your point! Keep up the amazing work!

StarStrukk said...
on Feb. 8 2011 at 1:31 pm
This is the funniest thing I have ever read in my life. way to go

on Jan. 16 2011 at 5:42 pm
SomethingLikeFire BRONZE, Mchenry, Illinois
1 article 1 photo 47 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Pippin: What about elevenses? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper? He knows about them, doesn't he?" -
-- The Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring

i love this!! i see exactly where ur coming from!

on Jan. 16 2011 at 5:30 pm
dolphin13 BRONZE, North St. Paul, Minnesota
1 article 0 photos 125 comments


I loved this! It was very interesting and realistic. Keep writing!

cloudskater1 said...
on Jan. 16 2011 at 3:21 pm
LOL this was hilar. super amazing job too!!! keep it up! XD

on Nov. 11 2010 at 7:47 pm
elisabethphoenix GOLD, Louisville, Kentucky
18 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
proverbs 31:30 :D

ahh i love your reference to one of the BEST coldplay songs ever, in my opinion!! haha sorry for posting this seemingly random/pointless comment!!

on Nov. 11 2010 at 8:30 am
thebushhippie PLATINUM, Sandown, New Hampshire
24 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
Leave behind your own footprints! :0)

This is so cool! It's perfect!!!!!! LOVE IT! <3

on Oct. 28 2010 at 12:09 pm
That was AWESOME!!! Such a great, original idea! I love it! Keep up the good work! :)

on Oct. 20 2010 at 8:20 pm
addisonmc521 GOLD, Oak Harbor, Ohio
12 articles 16 photos 27 comments

on Oct. 20 2010 at 8:05 pm
Just.A.Dream SILVER, Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
7 articles 0 photos 430 comments

Favorite Quote:
Part of the J7X team. :)

HAHAHAHA, that was great. :D Super original too! Great job!

on Oct. 20 2010 at 6:27 pm
passion.fable14 SILVER, Fort Collins, Colorado
8 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is like a cup of coffee. You gotta...dive right in and drink it fast before it cools. Because coffee sucks when its cool. And it tastes like crap. Do you want your life to taste like crap Sam? I don't. That's why i don't drink coffee."


WhiteShadows said...
on Oct. 20 2010 at 2:41 pm
WhiteShadows, Ocala, Florida
0 articles 0 photos 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
You've gotta work like you don't need the money/love like you'll never be hurt/
Sing like no one is listening/ and live like it's heaven on Earth.-Anonymous

Clever! Loved it

on Oct. 20 2010 at 10:51 am
nefariouslyme, Richland, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 72 comments
Goodbye Windows Internet Explorer, hello Safari!

Katie1234 GOLD said...
on Oct. 20 2010 at 8:14 am
Katie1234 GOLD, Velva, North Dakota
10 articles 0 photos 77 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When life becomes more than you can stand; fall to your knees"
"To be normal is to be boring."
"You cannot make men good by law."
"Christians believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God because He said so."
"To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you."

People often have more of a relationship with their internet than they do with PEOPLE. And sometimes those people are subjected to viruses that waste their money. And then they have to break up (get rid of) their internet provider.

on Oct. 20 2010 at 7:03 am
xAllegria BRONZE, Singapore, Other
1 article 2 photos 112 comments

Favorite Quote:
Ça fait tellement du bien d’aimer les gens qu’on aime, que ça finit par faire mal. Je sais pas comment on survit a ça. Non franchement, je sais pas. LOL (laughing out loud) ®, Lola.

Very original. Teen Ink needs more light, funny stuff like this :)

scbylvr said...
on Oct. 13 2010 at 11:16 am
scbylvr, Littleton, Colorado
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments
hahaha this is a funny story u should right more like this

on Oct. 13 2010 at 10:24 am
I don't get it. You were going out with the internet? Need more description!

lamicheal said...
on Oct. 13 2010 at 10:22 am
i didnt understand this topic at all. i think you needmore details

on Oct. 13 2010 at 10:15 am
This just made my day. This was so funny and I'd love to hear something as funny as this again!